Here is our last text conversation:
Him: Hey, white rain (he calls me white rain and I have no idea why), let’s go to lunch today.
Me: Ok, what time?
Him: Like 2?
Me: 2:00?? I will flippin starve by then. I was thinking more like 11:00. Noon at the latest.
Him: I won’t be in the office until around 2.
Me: Well, we will have to try again another day.
Him: Dammit. What if I bring you some cookies…will you wait til two then?
Him: Cookies with icing in the middle?
Drops me off cookies before he leaves
|Yummy. (not the actual cookies, but similar)|
Him: Can’t make it, still showing a house.
Me: You son of a bitch.
Him: Don’t hate me. We’ll go tomorrow.
Me: I will have died by then of malnutrition. You can come to my funeral tomorrow.
Him: If you died today, your funeral wouldn’t be tomorrow.
Me: Yes it would. I have the right to a speedy funeral.
Him: I think that’s speedy trial.
Me: Fine, I’ll take you to court for neglecting me. You can get in trouble for that, ya know?
Him: Only if I’m your guardian.
Me: I can create fake documents that will say I’m underage and that you are my legal guardian. Then I’ll tell everyone that you don’t feed me.
Him: I’ll pay for lunch tomorrow.
Me: Ok. Have a good day and I hope you find a buyer!
So I’ve come to the conclusion that people can get away with a lot of things if they bribe me with food