Friday, February 4, 2011

Mom, are you high?

I know I rarely talk about my mother on here…well anywhere for that matter, but I was reading AD’s blog yesterday and it reminded me of a story about her.

Before my mom’s second divorce, we actually had a pretty good relationship. After that, things pretty much went down hill, but that’s another story.

Anyways, I came home from school one bright shiny spring day and walked inside. The house was quiet and the lights were off. I lived in a house with 8 other people. Silence was nearly unheard of. So I was already suspicious.

I don’t remember now where my other siblings were at the time, I just remember that I was the only one in the house.

I walked into the kitchen to find a bag of marijuana on the table. I was like 15. I knew what marijuana looked like, although I had never seen it in person. My eyes grew wide as I stared at it. My first thoughts were that my oldest brother had been busted with it and they were out having some sort of intervention.

I slowly walked into my mom’s bedroom and to my surprise she was laying on the bed. I walked over to her and shook her slightly. She opened her eyes and I said, “Mom, are you okay?”

“Yeah why?” She groaned.

“Well, um, there is a bag of weed on the table and you were passed out.”

She looked at me with confusion and then as soon as it hit her, she busted out laughing. I mean, she laughed hard. I stood there with my hands on my hips, completely disappointed that my mother had been getting high. I wasn't amused at all.
"It's not funny, Mom, you have some serious explaining to do."

She laughed even harder while I stood there and fumed.

Then, once she stopped laughing, she explained.

“We bought your sister a car today off of some people down the road and when we were cleaning it out we found drugs in it.Your step dad was supposed to dispose of it.”

I stood silent while I processed it, and then said, “So you aren’t high?”

“No, I’m just exhausted. It’s been a long day.” She stood up, and then looked at me. “Wait, how did you know what it was?”

“I-ugh-I mean, I just know.”

Then I got a thirty minute lecture about how drugs are bad for you.

24 comments:

lyndylou said...

that is so funny! I can just imagine you, hands on hips ready to kick her butt.

I'm sorry that you don't have a good relationship with your mum but I am sure that your dad more than makes up for it :)

Canadianbloggergirl said...

Obviously a weird situation before you were informed of the facts. But after reading this I got a vision of my mother high (its never EVER happened) but the thought of it makes me incredibly full of laughter!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

bruce said...

i think my parents got high with the neighbors once...they were all heavy drinkers, but it was kinda odd...

i didn't ask, cuz then i get the how do you know what being high is like? lecture...

all i know is there was a lot of giggling going on and normally there was laughter when they got together, but not goofy ass giggiling!

Danger Boy said...

Never ask "are you high". ALWAYS ask why do you have a baggie of oregano!!!

Oilfield Trash said...

That is hilarious. Should have said it was oregano.

Thisisme. said...

That'll teach you to jump to conclusions!!!

Meg O. said...

LOL. That's awesome. And how could you not know what it looked like with all of the anti-drug classes we have to take in school (well, at least, I did). What is even funnier is that they found weed in the car they bought. WTF!?! That's hilarious.

becca said...

omg too funny and the picture is too cute

Not the Hero said...

Speaking of Mary Jane and anti drug classes. I was at an antidrug assembly in high school and teh presenter handed out some joints so that we would know what they looked like. He said we would be strip searched if we didn't hand them all back in. The funny thing is he handed out 3 for everyone to look at. He got back 4.

Bubbles said...

I can imagine how awkward and weird it must have been but such a funny memory.

Bouncin' Barb said...

What a cute story. Both of my parents tried it. Mom did it a couple of times trying to be cool with the neighbor kids. My Dad did it after I was married and he just sat down in the yard and stayed there. It was hysterical.

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Bahahahaha this is better than my story by a bunch!

Sorry about the lecture.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

steph c said...

Hahahahahaha. That's awesome.

amchornetgirl said...

Must've been a pretty bad druggie if he couldn't keep track of his stash!

My senior year in high school my dad accused me of using drugs (I never had). I asked him why he thought so, since I was a straight A student. His response? Because I stayed up late and ate a lot of Cool Whip. (?!?)

Julie said...

I'm laughing at the thought of you giving your mum a telling off!!
And i'm now going to go out to Louise's new car and see if there are any "extras" we have overlooked!!!

twilightgazing said...

That is just so funny, thank you for starting my day with giggles.

Mynx said...

This was so funny
Reminds me of the time my mum found a dope plant in the back yard. Self seeded from somewhere. Such a pretty plant she told her friend who happened to be a local cop.
He told he to pull it out while he wasn't looking and get rid of it quick or else he would be forced to arrest her.

caterpillar said...

hehehehehe....so much for trying to be the grown up...I hope the lecture wasn't too bad...

LottieSpartacus said...

that's hilarious! My mum once told me that she grew marijuana on her windowsill in college because 'it was so pretty'!

hed said...

omg hahahahahaha!

In ninth grade my mom found pot in my jeans and I played the "I'm holding it for someone else" card and got off.

Three years later I'm looking for some earrings in her jewelry box-the bag of weed was in there! WTF MOM!!!

hed

On My Soapbox said...

Very funny story, JM! When I was in high school, my friend asked if she could put her pipe in my purse so she wouldn't get in trouble. Well, one guess who got in trouble - me!! Never again will I do that.

Mrs. Hyde said...

I was counting on her being so stoned that she forgot to put her stash back in her hiding spot. On a different note, I told my son a similar story when he found a cigarette rolling around on the floor of my van.


a bitch called mom

Jimmy said...

Don't you just hate it when the conversation does a 180 like that :^0

StephanieC said...

I wonder if she was covering her tracks? lol, just kiddin.