Sorry for leaving you guys hanging. I could give you a TON of excuses like my new boss is a psycho maniac and I am either going to take up drinking or beg a mental institute to find me a room with padded walls because of him. But no, I'm going to give you a list of things you absolutely should not do while drinking. Fiance and I had a little get together over July 4th weekend and for the first time in probably a year, we got a little too intoxicated. (I'll blame that on my psycho boss) The acts in blue were Fiance, the ones in green were the both of us and of course, the pink ones are all me.
1. Do not under any circumstances think that it's a good idea to vomit into a mesh clothes hamper. Trust me, the vomit will go all the way through and soak your floor along with all the clothes.
2. Do not start playing a drinking game right after you just finished beer pong and lost. Getting really drunk on top of being really drunk will result in act #1.
3. Do not try to pee outside after act #2. There is a good chance that while you are trying to squat, you will fall. Walk your drunk ass the twenty yards to the house.
4. Don't tell one of your drunken guests that just two days prior to the outside party you are hosting, you saw a black bear near your house. They will either A) Freak out or B) Go looking for it.
5. Do not climb a tree with no shoes on....or with shoes on for that matter. Just don't do it.
6. Do not update your Facebook status. Especially if you are going to complain that all of your friends that didn't come to your party suck.
7. When your Fiance is "dropping it likes its hott" do not laugh at her when she falls and say, "It must not be that hott."
8. Do not "drop it like its hott."
9. Do not lean back in plastic chairs. Actually don't do this sober either. The chair will either break causing you to tumble backwards or in your drunken state, you will just fall backwards on your own.
10. Do not walk around half naked in the wee hours of the morning after you've invited your guests to sleep over.
Now, with these tips, go enjoy your weekend!