Friday, July 8, 2011

Tips for a fun weekend.

Jumble Mashers! Oh how I have missed you!!!

Sorry for leaving you guys hanging. I could give you a TON of excuses like my new boss is a psycho maniac and I am either going to take up drinking or beg a mental institute to find me a room with padded walls because of him. But no, I'm going to give you a list of things you absolutely should not do while drinking. Fiance and I had a little get together over July 4th weekend and for the first time in probably a year, we got a little too intoxicated. (I'll blame that on my psycho boss) The acts in blue were Fiance, the ones in green were the both of us and of course, the pink ones are all me.

1. Do not under any circumstances think that it's a good idea to vomit into a mesh clothes hamper. Trust me, the vomit will go all the way through and soak your floor along with all the clothes. 

2. Do not start playing a drinking game right after you just finished beer pong and lost. Getting really drunk on top of being really drunk will result in act #1.

3. Do not try to pee outside after act #2. There is a good chance that while you are trying to squat, you will fall. Walk your drunk ass the twenty yards to the house.

4. Don't tell one of your drunken guests that just two days prior to the outside party you are hosting, you saw a black bear near your house. They will either A) Freak out or B) Go looking for it.

5. Do not climb a tree with no shoes on....or with shoes on for that matter. Just don't do it.


6. Do not update your Facebook status. Especially if you are going to complain that all of your friends that didn't come to your party suck.

7. When your Fiance is "dropping it likes its hott" do not laugh at her when she falls and say, "It must not be that hott."

8. Do not "drop it like its hott."

9. Do not lean back in plastic chairs. Actually don't do this sober either.  The chair will either break causing you to tumble backwards or in your drunken state, you will just fall backwards on your own.

10. Do not walk around half naked in the wee hours of the morning after you've invited your guests to sleep over.

Now, with these tips, go enjoy your weekend!

16 comments:

Canadianbloggergirl said...

Sounds like a great time! Wish I could have been there!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

SkippyMom said...

So thrilled to see you sweetie - um, OMG! giggle

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

sounds like a great party. (ick on the mesh hamper though)

glad to see you back.

Amy said...

hahhahahaah this is one of your funniest posts ever! I've missed you!!!

Amy said...

hahhahahaah this is one of your funniest posts ever! I've missed you!!!

Oilfield Trash said...

Seems like fun.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

You should not also make drunken phone calls to everyone in your address book telling them you love or hate them whichever it is not good someone will end up getting offended..

Also do not have a bath at you future sister in-laws house and end up throwing up in the bath and then in your stupid drunken state try and clean it up you will only make a bigger mess............also you will never live it down....trust me I know about this......

Thisisme. said...

Sounds like a good time was had!! Hope you didn't suffer too much the following day though! Lovely to see you back today.

steph gas said...

i see no issues with any of these except for vomiting in a mesh clothes hamper. much easier to vomit in the toilet. failing that, the tub is a LARGE and easily-cleanable target.

as long as family is not there, i say it's not a party until someone starts wandering around partially dressed.

Jess said...

Sounds like a good time to me! My last drunken adventure ended in my friend showing everyone her hoo-hah, another asking everyone in the bar to come home with her for some wicked fun, and the great search for a designated driver, after which said driver pleaded with my friend for twenty minutes to please not vomit in his new truck... she made it out but unfortunately his tires caught the upchuck. Our adventure was not nearly as fun as yours sounded!

Bouncin' Barb said...

JM...Wow, now that's what I call a good party. Except for the hangover maybe? And the cleaning the hamper and floor. There's always a price to pay for having fun isn't there? What's up with that? So good to hear from you! Missed you! Hugssssss.

lyndylou said...

Hilarious! I'm partying with you next time :)

Julie said...

when is the next party and can Lyndylou and i stay!?!?!?!?!

Danger Boy said...

Ah, the perils of alcohol. Sounds like an epic time!
Sorry to hear you have a psycho boss...but that's some serious blog fodder right there.

Tress said...

Haha thank you guys! Your comments made me LOL. You are all invited to the next one!!

Nicki said...

Top Ten JM posts ever. EVER.