Monday, December 13, 2010

Listen To Mom

I'm taking the day off. For all of you that were concerned about my little sister, she is doing great and is home now. 

Anyways, thank you times a billion to Barb at This and That for guest posting. She delivered exactly what I had in mind! Enjoy!

First of all I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Jumble Mash for asking me to be a guest blogger. It's always a thrill to be asked to write for someone's blog.


What I thought I'd write today is a little different. Lately, I've been graced with compliments from many of the bloggers I follow in that they've referred to me as "like the mother I never had" or "my other mother". Maybe not those exact words but you get the point. I don't take those comments lightly. They bring tears to my eyes and since I love to help people and tell about my experiences in order to benefit someone I thought it would be fun to write some things about life from a mother's (and grandmother's) view and hope that you will use it either for yourself, your child or a good friend or sibling.


1.   Budget your money. One of the greatest things I ever learned was how to make a budget. Sit down and figure out exactly what you spend each month. Then divide that by how often you get paid. If you get paid weekly, divide that by four. If you get paid every two weeks, divide it by two. Figure in your rent, food, utilities, gasoline, anything that you pay regularly. Then add in extra for miscellaneous because there will always be some kind of emergency. Put this amount aside every payday and when your bill comes due, you have the money. It's so simple of a concept and yet hardly anyone follows it.

2.   Learn how to handle your finances. I worked in banking for over 20 years and was continuously trying to help people figure out their finances and to balance a checkbook. If you don't know how to do it, go to your bank and ask for help if you have a problem with bouncing checks or ATM fees and overdrafts. You will be one step ahead if you can understand what to do with your own money. I couldn't believe the number of college kids graduating with high honors who had no idea how to balance a checkbook. This should be taught in high school as a mandatory course.

3.   Save money regularly. Before you pay any bill, pay yourself first. Even if it's $20 a paycheck, it's something. The more money you make in your job/career, pay yourself more.

4.   Do not use credit cards when you don't have the money. The real purpose of credit cards is to build credit for buying a home or a car. Good credit comes from using a credit card when you have the actual money to pay for something and then paying the bill in full when it comes in.

5.   Don't ever let anyone lay their hands on you in any hurtful way. This one is probably geared more for the females but it could apply to males also. It has to do with dating/marriage. . Too many women are in abusive relationships because they allowed a guy to physically mistreat them. The guy apologizes and gets all lovey dovey and the gal falls right back into the losers arms and a pattern begins. I do know there are also men who are abused as well so listen up. The first time any one lays a hand on you END IT. There is no reason for it. It's unacceptable. And a person like that will do it AGAIN. You don't deserve it and someone better WILL come along. This I promise. You are too good for something like this.

6.   Use Birth Control. There's no excuse to have an unplanned baby in this day and age. There are clinics, doctors, support groups, counselors, etc. Unless you are married, financially stable and have lived life a little, don't get pregnant. You are not doing yourself or the child any good by not planning this one out. It's a mistake that lasts a lifetime and can cause a hard life for all when it's not necessary. For the girl, no guy is worth trapping with a child. It will only cause them to resent you and resent the child. For the guys, wear protection. You should anyway but wear it for birth control purposes. Don't rely on the girl to take care of it all. There is NO EXCUSE. Free condoms are everywhere. If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to make a baby but you are not mature enough to be a parent.

7.   Take a self defense class. Learn how to protect yourself. Too many crimes are committed where the victim doesn't fight back. Be aware of your surroundings. Learn what to look for and how to prevent a crime. I bet the statistics on rape would be a lot lower if a person knew self-defense. Get some friends together and go as a group. Practice as a group. Be smart.

8.   Enjoy life before settling down. Get out there and see the world. Travel, learn about different cultures, take up art or a hobby that you think you might enjoy. Once you can be content with your life, you can then make a partner a very happy person. If you are happy, the sky is the limit.

9.   When you are in a relationship, don't try to control it. The only successful relationship is one that is built on compromise, trust and above all RESPECT. Respect for yourself first and then for the other.

10.   Pay attention to your children. If you are going to bring one into the world you owe it to that child to listen and learn and teach them what's right and wrong and how to grow up a well rounded individual.

So there you have it. 10 things that I feel very strongly about and hope to pass it on to others. If even one person learns something from this blog I've done my job. So please read it and tell all your followers about it. All I can say is "Listen to Mom"

29 comments:

Thisisme said...

Waow Barb! How did you think all this up. It's a brilliant guest post. It must have taken you ages to sit down and write it so that it all fell into place properly. Well done - another masterpiece from the Queen of Blogs, methinks!!

Thisisme said...

Jumble, I am so thrilled that your little sister is home again, and doing well. That's the best news ever.

Bouncin' Barb said...

This...if I tell you I just sat here wrote it off the top of my head in about an hour would you believe me? Thank you so much for the compliment.

Krissy said...

@JM.. I must have missed something about your sister, but I'm a bit behind on my reading. Glad to hear she's okay!

@Barb, bravo! Great insights, and I must say the whole birth control thing cracks me up with some people. I get asked all the time how many kids I have (not if I have any) because people assume everyone has them at my age. Nope! I enjoy my nieces and nephews and my freedom to do what I please, thank you much. :)

Bouncin' Barb said...

Krissy...Thank you so much!

Thisisme said...

If that all came off the top of your head so quickly, then you're a better man than me, gunga din!

Daffy said...

Fantastic sounda advice and while some of you would think is just common sense, so often we need to be reminded of it. I would add that emotional abuse is an important one to protect yourself from as well. Even the strongest of women and men can find themselves in an emotionally manipulative relationship that may eventually turn physically abusive. It is amazing how the successful the abuser can be at convincing you it is your fault they are behaving the way they are. And even down playing their actions...stating that you are over reacting or blowing it out of proportion or even lieing. Know yourself...know your boundaries and RESPECT who you are first.

Okay...off my soapbox.

Great post!

Belle said...

Good advice Barb! Not using credit cards is so important. And not taking abuse is vital. If they harm you once, they will do it again.

Bouncin' Barb said...

This...I sorry :-(

Daffy...Thanks for reading this and leaving a great comment.

Belle...Thanks. It is so true unfortunately.

Fortunes Fool said...

GREAT advice!! Thanks!
http://fourtunesfool.blogspot.com/

bruce said...

Barb...you rock girl...

great post!!! Great advice..

Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
And
evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
and
The guy book
the guy book

Jess said...

These are excellent, especially 5, 7 and 10. :)

Glad to hear sister is doing better!

The Tame One said...

I am not joking when I say that you made me tear up. Great list. Great post. Superfabulous mom!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Fortunes Fool...Thank You!

Bruce...Thanks. I don't rock, I bounce.hahahaha

Jess...Thanks so much. I do feel strongly about those 3.

Tame...I didn't want to make you get teary eyed. I'll always be a Mom when someone needs me.

bruce said...

barb...

i stand corrected...

YOU BOUNCE!!!

Dad said...

Great advice Barb!!!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Bruce...that's better. hahaha. you are funny.

Dad...Thanks. Glad your daughter is doing well also.

becca said...

great post barb and JM glad to hear sis is better

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

great comments! I am with you 100% on them, too.

caterpillar said...

Amazing post....I'm not going to say anything...a big hug would say all that I have to... *hug*

Vicki Lane said...

Good for you, Barb -- excellent advice for everyone, not just kids!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Becca...Thanks!

Teresa...Glad you like it.

Caterpillar...Hugs are great. Right back atcha!

Vicki...Thank you.

Mrs. Hyde said...

Nicely done. Good advice I wish I'd received earlier in life before I had a chance to learn the hard way. Then again, I probably wouldn't have listened because I knew EVERYTHING.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Mrs. Hyde...Thank you. Isn't that so true. But I did listen to my brother when I was 15. That said something because I did know everything!

DW said...

Great post!! I agree with all of it, and have more to add: do not settle down unless you can support yourself. Make sure you have lived on your own (paying rent, car payments, etc.) for at least a year. Do not depend on others for things YOU are responsible for.

JM, glad to hear your sis is on the mend!

Mynx said...

Barb, You know I think you are adorable and this is a fantastic post. You wrote it quickly because you beleive in every word and it is all such awesome advice.
Hoping you will come back to my place for a guest again soon
hugs

Bouncin' Barb said...

DW...Thank you. I'm sure there's a lot more we can add!! Yours is a great one too.

Mynx...Thank you. And yes I do believe in every bit of it. You know I'll be packing a bag and flying to your place very soon!! Hugs.

Tress said...

I'm loving all the positive responses to this. Barb was an excellent guest. Thanks to all you newbies for stopping by and double thanks to my loyal readers for showing Barb the love she deserves!

amchornetgirl said...

Yay that JM's sister is better! And great post! All very good points that more people should follow.