Best Wedding Movies OF ALL TIME

I am so happy to bring to you a post from my BBFF, Jess. Most of you probably know her, but if not, go over there and say hello and check out her awesome blog.


Hey guys, Jess here from It is a big deal, it is to me! As soon as I saw the Project Save Jumble Mash post, I felt that it was my duty - nay, my CALLING - to support this most benevolent of causes. The best way to do that, you ask?

Why, a Top 10 List, of course....The Top 10 Best Wedding Movies OF.ALL.TIME. Yes indeedy. Here we go!

10. Made of Honor

Stars: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan

Plot: Tom and Hannah are BFFs, and Tom thinks he's got it made, until Hannah is suddenly engaged to a Scot. With Hannah's wedding only weeks away, Tom realizes she's the one for him, but now he's got to break up the wedding....although he's the "Maid of Honor."

Favorite Scene: In the bar when they kiss. HOT.

Favorite Quote: "Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you."


9. Wedding Crashers

Stars: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, Bradley Cooper

Plot: Best friends John and Jeremy spend their weekends crashing weddings by pretending to be different people in order to hook up with women. They're having the time of their lives, until John finds himself fascinated with the attached, beautiful daughter of a senator.

Favorite Scene: The dinner scene. Awesome.

Favorite Quote: In response to "..you got a f**** problem with that?":"Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched."


8. Meet the Parents

Stars: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson

Plot: Pam's sister is getting married, and Greg wants to meet the parents to ask for their blessing to ask Pam to marry him. Things don't go according to plan, however, when Pam's father turns out to be the suspicious, secretly retired CIA agent guy who hates Greg.

Favorite Scene: When Greg attempts to say grace before dinner. Best prayer ever.

Favorite Quote: "I have nipples Greg. Can you milk me?"


7. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Stars: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett

Plot: Greek girl Toula meets non-Greek Ian, and they soon fall in love and plan to marry. However, the Greeks do weddings in a....different....sort of way.

Favorite Scene: The engagement party at Toula's parents' house.

Favorite Quote: "Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin."

6. Monster-in-Law

Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Michael Vartan, Jane Fonda and Wanda Sykes

Plot: When Charlie meets Dr. Kevin Fields, she believes she has finally found true love. Unfortunately her dream romance soon turns into a nightmare when Kevin's mother, dramatic former actress/talk show host Viola Fields, suddenly decides to break them up.

Favorite Scene: Every scene with Wanda Sykes.

Favorite Quote: "Fix your hair, you look like a damn cockatoo!"


5. The Proposal

Stars: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White

Plot: When generally grumpy publisher Margaret learns that her visa is about to expire, forcing her to return to Canada, she makes her assistant Andrew pretend to be engaged to her. Margaret accompanies Andrew to his family's home in Alaska for his grandmother's birthday party, where everyone learns of the "engagement" and subsequently plan a quick wedding.

Favorite Scene: The bachelorette party.

Favorite Quote: "You can do this, but that would require you to stop snacking on children while they dream."

4. Sweet Home Alabama

Stars: Reese Witherspoon, Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas

Plot: Up and coming New York designer Melanie is engaged to dreamy Andrew Hennings, but before she can marry him she has to end her first marriage to Jake Perry. In order to do that, though, she has to go home to Alabama.

Favorite Scene: Opening scene

Favorite Quote: "What you wanna be married to me for, anyhow?" "So I can kiss you any time I want."

3. The Wedding Singer

Stars: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore

Plot: Robbie Hart is the upbeat wedding singer who believes in true love until his fiance leaves him stranded at the altar. The only person who can bring him out of his depression is Julia Sullivan....who is also engaged. To a jerk.

Favorite Scene: Airplane.

Favorite Quote: "Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up."


2. Father of the Bride

Stars: Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Kimberly Williams-Paisley

Plot: Tightwad George Banks is having to plan a lavish wedding for his daughter, and hates every single minute of it.

Favorite Scene: When they visit Bryan's parent's house.

Favorite Quote: "Well, that's the thing about life, is the surprises, the little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you."

1. My Best Friend's Wedding

Stars: Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz, Rupert Everett

Plot: Jules and Michael have been best friends for years, but when Michael is suddenly about to be married, Jules realizes she wants him for herself. She goes to Chicago to be in the wedding - and to break it up.

Favorite Scene: When Michael and Jules are dancing on the barge while Michael sings "The Way You Look Tonight."

Favorite Quote: "It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy."



Well there you have it - my list of the top ten best wedding movies. Makes you wanna make out with someone right now, doesn't it? That's my cue...

A Letter

Good morning Jumble Mashers! My next guest post is brought to you by Bubbles. She is incredibly talented, creative and very sweet. She chose to write about something that she is passionate about. Enjoy!



Dear Nobody in Particular

How are you today? I've been wondering how people in 2011 feel about good old fashioned snail mail.... I can hear you say what! Why on earth would I consider writing a letter when there are a million other ways to communicate, why should I spend my time with pen and paper....

Imagine receiving a letter that isn't a bill, isn't a bank statement, isn't a leaflet selling something.....

Imagine a chapter of a book but its not black and white and smelling stale

Imagine each and every word and letter formed especially for you...

The writing on the envelope isn't a typed address but a beautiful hand written piece of text which makes your heart leap because you know who its from.

the envelope is a dirty brown but a beautiful decorate piece of art work....

the stamp itself is unique and fun and you actually stop and think for a moment that maybe you should start a stamp collection...

or maybe not as it looks great just where it is....

Then you actually open the envelope....

the words leap out at you and you're already in your mind replying to each and every word!

That's what makes a great letter you know, where you sit down and before you know it you've written a chapter...

Its where you can write everything and anything down on paper

and someone somewhere is reading every word and taking their time to reply and give advice whether or not its what you want to hear.

You will find you share more with this friend then you do with people right in front of you,

it will help put situations niggling at the back of your mind in to better perspective.

The friendship doesn't stop there it continues when they are on holiday and send you a postcard and occasionally buy you a special gift like any other friend.

For me it doesn't stop there,

I love shopping for cute writing paper to match my mood,

the loves of my friend

or just the season at that time.

To decorate my letters with colourfully writing

stickers and tapes...

The only problem is that before I sit down to write I try and choose the paper that seems right at that time

but it turns in to a struggle as I want to use them all... maybe next time only next time I go through all the same thing again.

I wrap the letter up and send it on its way and my friend has now got a similar situation to face...

its just all goes around in one circle..

Still I prefer it to a phone call where there are constant boring pauses

you run out things to say but you want the other person to put it down,

the time isn't right when they phone...

Its better then an e-mail that you can never seem to find the time to reply to because you want to

blog,

look for a holiday,

buy something....

I'll reply to it tomorrow,

ok I'll reply to it tomorrow

only tomorrow never comes....

If you still aren't convinced that snail mail is great

why not take part in make my day

and I will share a tiny ounce

of what my life is about.

It is my life since writing letters is something I have done for the last 20 years!

So what do you think of snail mail in 2011?

Yours

Bubbles.

A Hero's Speech

Lynne over at Giggle Fest will be your entertainment for today. If you haven't read her blog, please please do so. She is quite the inspiration and an incredibly addicting read. Enjoy!


By nature, I am a lively bubbly person but I don't really like to draw attention to myself because I am actually quite shy. I just cover it up with my humour.

So imagine my surprise when Holly, my daughter put me forward as an unsung hero in her English class at High School. I was so so chuffed cos well, to be a hero in your daughter's eyes is no small thing but I didn't realize that there were strings attached. I was still basking in the glow of being her 'hero', was grinning from ear to ear so I missed most of the next sentence but then 3 words penetrated my brain.........give a talk! WTF?

Eh? Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Who me??? You are kidding right? That's when I really started paying attention and felt real fear! It turns out that the teacher had been so impressed by Holly's description of me and my life that she asked would I be willing to talk to the class about it. Holly, still seeing me as her hero said "oh I definitely think she would, when do you want her to come in?".

I was driving while she was telling me all this and I was gripping the steering wheel as if my life depended on it! Oh to have her confidence but I was struck with such nerves I could barely speak! I know, I can hear you all laughing now but for days after I had nightmares about being heckled by a class full of teenagers. They were coming to get me! The mere thought brought me out in a cold cold sweat. I wonder if teachers get like this after a while?

What made it worse was that the other parents asked to give a talk were a fire fighter and a nurse. They save lives for a living for god's sake!!! They were definitely going to be much more interesting and be able to captivate a teenage audience far better than little old me whose life consisted of dirty nappies, seizures, drool and at times some impressive 'comedy' sickness.

The day dawned bright and Holly reminded me that today was the day, as she left for school. I did lurch between 'it'll be fine' and running hell bent in the opposite direction at various times throughout that week but every time I looked at Holly and saw how proud she was, I would berate myself for being such a wimp!

I decided that the best way, was to just go without notes. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Yeah well, I'm a hero don't ya know, no props for this girlie.

I walked into the school, informed them at reception that I was here and Holly came down to meet me. I was so wishing that I had a wee smidge of Southern Comfort to help with the nerves but hey that would have to wait.

When I walked into the class, I could feel my face get red. The teacher, Miss Innes, shook my hand and gave me a stool to sit on, in front of the white board. She explained that she would let me speak first but then the class would ask some questions which they had come up with in their groups. As I looked around the class, I started to relax when I realized that I knew at least half of these kids from primary school.


Once I started talking, you could have heard a pin drop as I explained Jack's diagnosis, what it meant, how it presented, how it affected us as a family, how many times we'd done the emergency ambulance dash. Once I got going, I found I had so much to say.

Fifteen minutes later I finished. I looked at Miss Innes and she was crying! I think maybe I explained things too well. I looked over at Holly and she was grinning from ear to ear so I knew that I'd lived up to her expectations. I found myself grinning back. I totally relaxed then.

The question and answer bit was a breeze. The questions were really interesting and funny, there were a couple that stuck out.

One table asked me whether I would ever put Jack into care, as one of the teenager's brother had been put into care. He had cerebral palsy. I told him that "at the moment, it isn't what I want for Jack but that you can never say never because my health could change and I might not be able to look after him then".

The funniest question was "who is easier to look after, Holly or Jack?". "Oh" I said, "that's easy, Jack definitely because he doesn't give me heaps of cheek, talk back and tell me that he hates me like most teenagers do!".

The class all looked at Holly and fell about laughing. Job done :)

The Art of Bitchdom

I can absolutely depend on my next savior anytime I need a laugh. She is blunt. She has a potty mouth. And she is downright hilarious. Introducing (if you aren't already blessed to know her) Mrs. Hyde from A Bitch Called Mom.

The Art of Bitchdom

This is only my second ever guest post, so I'm not completely familiar with the etiquette of it. Come to think of it, I'm not all that familiar with etiquette period. But Jumble Mash is very busy right now, so I thought it would be exceptionally classy of me to help her out. I am awesomeness dipped in chocolate and served on a bed of diamonds. I know.

Let me warn you that I'm not anything like Jumble Mash. I say that because you guys are used to her sweetness and sunshine and I'm mostly a...um..well, I'm a bitch. Hence the name of my most popular blog, A Bitch Called Mom. Insert shameless self-promotion here.

Bitchin' ain't easy. You'd think it would be what with celebrities running around making it look like a piece of cake. Like Ellen Degeneres. Helping people and giving away prizes on fake game shows and dancing her skinny ass all over the place...What a bitch, right? It takes finely-honed skill, nay, talent to perfect the art of bitchdom. I should know. I practice my craft every single day.

Just the other day, for example, I was in one of my "classes" (I parenthesize the word because I have no intention of telling you what kind of class it is. I can't have you all up in my business. I don't know you like that.) and the "teacher" was trying to recall a certain song that would go a long way toward helping her make her point. I thought I might know the song, as did several others, but none of us could think of the name. Except this one woman.

I want to interject that this woman is a psycho. Her very existence depends upon her getting married and having kids before she turns 40. She'll be thirty-nine in a couple of weeks. Needless to say, she drives me batshit crazy with her incessant whining about not having a man and not being married and not having kids. She asks everybody for advice and we all try to help her, but all she does is piss and moan some more. Maybe if she'd shut the fuck up for two seconds, she could get a man to do her. There are plenty of ways she could use her mouth to land herself a man and none of them involve whining. Just saying. Also, she doesn't listen and she always has to be right. Always.

Now for my part, I was going nuts trying to think of the name of this song. You know how you're trying to recall some tidbit of information, but it's playing hide and seek in the crumbling crevices of your rum-soaked brain? No? It's just me? Well, anyway, the teacher and I had already established that she and I were thinking of two completely different songs, but it was still driving me crazy trying to remember the name of my song, the one that was sitting on the tip of my tongue taunting me with its elusiveness. 

Psycho Betty, not her real name, decided that the song we were both looking for was "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. I said, "No, that's not the song I'm thinking of. The song I'm thinking of is sung by a dude." 

She says, "No, it's not. It's "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus." Wow! I didn't know that bitch could read minds. Even so, her skills are grossly underdeveloped because I hear a man's voice singing in my head. I think I know the difference between Miley Cyrus' annoying feminine twang and the smooth baritone of a man.

By this time, I had completely given up on the teacher's song. I tried to relay this to Psycho Betty, but she didn't hear me. All she heard was her inner psycho telling her that she was correct. I went into the hall to call home and ask my ten-year-old if she could remember the song that was, at this point, about to cause either a psychotic break on my part or an early death on Psycho Betty's part. That's how much both the song and the bitch were getting on my nerves.

"'Live Like We're Dying' by Kris Allen, my brilliant daughter says.

Yes! I can relax now.

Not quite.

Psycho Betty insists, "Mrs. Hyde, the song you're looking for is "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus."

I lost it. "That's not the fucking song, you neurotic moron! If you say "The Climb" one more time, my foot is going to climb right up your ass." The whole class went silent, even Betty and the teacher. Oops. Let that be a lesson to all you Psycho Bettys out there: just shut the hell up and listen sometimes. 

I didn't mean to go off on Betty. I actually like her and I did apologize to her later. I normally try to restrain my bitchdom in public. But sometimes...every now and then when the psychos threaten your sanity, you just gotta let that Bitch roam free.

Read what I have to say this week at www.thewellfedspirit.blogspot.com. OR if you're in a bitchy mood, check out www.abitchcalledmom.blogspot.com.

Top Ten Fictional Characters I'm Desperately Hoping to Go on a Date With

Since I had so many incredible bloggy friends volunteer to Save Jumble Mash, the guest week is going to keep on going this week. And I was sitting here trying to think of an awesome way to introduce Ms. Nicki to you guys, but I think if you read this post you'll know the exact reason why I love her. Please enjoy...I know I did :)

HELLOOOOOOOO JUMBLE MASHERS!


I'm Nicki. I run the Loaded Handbag. I like potatoes, zombie movies, tequila, and you.

There. I'm glad we've met.

I knew exactly what I wanted to write for the Save Jumble Mash Guest Week.

I adore Jumble Mash because this blog is not afraid to let its geek flag fly.

I, too, wanted to let my geek flag fly.

See, the great thing about being a geek girl is that you don't need to fantasize about real men. Real men suck. They really do. They don't have chiseled animated cheekbones or superpowers. And they can't break out into a spontaneous song when the mood strikes them. And talking sea creatures or kitchenware can't join them in four-part harmony and dazzling dance sequences. So really? Real men? Kind of a let-down.

I've always been totally happy in my dating life because I sympathize with real men. They can't fight henchmen or rescue me from a thirty-foot burning building. They don't come with sound effects or catchy theme songs. They can't even pull off spandex.

So I sympathize. And I settle. So none of my boyfriends have been able to rock the masked-caped-crusader look. So none of them have talking animal sidekicks. It's okay. They're only human.

But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream, right?

And I do dream. Oh, LORD, do I dream.

So here, without further ado, are the Top Ten Fictional Characters I'm Desperately Hoping to Go on a Date With.

Just don't tell my boyfriend.


10.) MacGyver.

Quit your judging. He's old, you say. His dates always end up in mortal peril that involve diabolical schemes or explosions.

Ladies. LADIES. Come to your senses. MacGyver is the single greatest date a girl could have. Especially as a wedding date. Your shoe breaks? He'll combine three hors d'oeuvres to form an organic superglue. Your dress rips? He'll use dental floss to weave a brand new dress, dye it with bar garnishes, and then he'll make spanx out of saran wrap and toothpicks so you look three sizes smaller.


9.) The Ewok Commune from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

No, not like that kind of date. Gross. I just want the entire village to cook me a rustic meal, braid my hair, and then play an integral role in taking down an evil galactic empire. It's like a rustic bed and breakfast/spa run by teddy bears. What's not to love?

8.) Johnny Storm (the Human Torch) from the Fantastic Four.

Again, not THAT kind of date. I'd leave with an intense burning sensation, and I'm not talking about the kind that happens when his body bursts into spontaneous flames while he's giving me a goodnight kiss. I just want to sit together on a flame-resistant faux bear rug and roast marshmallows off of his body. Is that so wrong, internet? IS THAT SO WRONG?

7.) Sean Connery as Professor Jones from Indian Jones and the Last Crusade.

No, this isn't a Bond fetish manifesting many years later.

Okay, maybe it is.

But I really just want to sit down over dinner and have him tell me embarrassing Indiana Jones stories. Like how he used to scream at the sight of earthworms or the time he fell asleep on the toilet.

6.) Stitch from Lilo and Stitch.

I mean, Lilo's totally invited too. I want to build miniature cities and destroy them and then practice our Elvis impressions together. Oh, and I want to gloat to my friends that I went on a date with a six-armed alien. Those Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome stories aren't going to cut it anymore, ladies.

5.) Cyclops from X-Men.

I don't know. I know all X-men girls seem to be Wolverine fans. Every now and then you get the odd Iceman or Nightcrawler fan. Cyclops has ALWAYS been my dream man, even before he was played by James Marsden (HOT HOT HOT) in the X-men movies. I don't know how we'd handle the whole must-wear-sunglasses thing. Superglue his shades to his head or play Corey Hart's "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" nonstop, I imagine.


4.) Jean Grey (Phoenix) from X-men.

I was a fan of Jean Grey ever since she was Marvel Girl. Let's be clear: not only is she incredibly hot, she's also incredibly talented. I don't just want to date her. I want to marry her. Partly because I'm lazy, and it would be awesomely useful to have her pass me the remote or a beer with her mind.

3.) Kaylee from Firefly.

Because a.) she's a-freaking-dorable, b.) she's got the greatest dialect imaginable, and c.) I feel like she could walk around my house and randomly fix everything that's broken.

2.) Robin Hood, Disney version.

He can sing. He can swordfight. He's great with kids. He can shoot a bow and arrow with the best of them and he robs from the rich to give to the poor. Oh yeah, and he's a fox with a pseudo-British accent. WIN.

1.) Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show.

I just want them to sit and heckle our entire date.

It would be an honor. An honor.

Ouch!

 Mynx is taking over today! If you haven't been to Dribble... you are definitely missing out! Enjoy!

How wonderful to find myself back here at Jumble Mash.

Last time I visited, JM, I had a wonderful collaboration about differences between old and new couples.

Oh and if you don't know me, I am Mynx and I write a couple of blogs, the main one called "Dribble" and I am Australian.

Now I know that JM put up a list of suggestions but she knows me by now and as the only thing that is really on my mind is holidays, I thought I would tie everything together with a little story about when I was a newly wed and my honeymoon in Tasmania.

Tasmania is a beautiful island state, and has a unique history, climate and environment.  We travelled there in September and spent the first few nights in a beautiful place called "Cradle Mountain Lodge"
This is a wilderness area, so we had a beautiful spa cabin set in natural bushland setting.

Now most of you would know something about some Australian animals, koalas, kangaroos, wombats.
Some of you probably consider Australia a really dangerous place with sharks, crocs and poisonous snakes and spiders.

Well let me first say that I have only been eaten by a shark twice and died of snake bite once.... OK I am being silly, but honestly, the animals are more scared of you than you are of them.

source

Of course if you are silly enough to swim in a croc infested billabong, you deserve to get eaten.

Being a wilderness area, it wasn't uncommon to spot glorious colored parrots or large black Currawongs (Australian Raven) in the trees and on the balcony.

We would walk from our cabin to the main lodge for meals and entertainment nightly along a dirt track, often returning with only moonlight to guide us.

One night, coming back from dinner we heard a rustling in the bushes and hubby was forced to step back before he literally tripped over a wombat going about it's nightly foraging.

It was that sort of place

Several nights a week the lodge would host Possum feeding after dinner.
That sort of thing is frowned upon now, 20 years later, but back then it was entertainment.
The possums are the Australian brush tail possums, very common and very cheeky.
Nocturnal, like a lot of Aussie animals they would be happily sleeping while the sun shine to then get up and party on your cabin roof at night.

As part of possum feeding as entertainment, we would gather on the veranda while the hotel staff passed around trays of cut apple and other fruit so guests could hand feed these very cute fluffy vegetarian locals.

They would gather around your feet and shyly take the apple from your fingers and then munch it down super quick and look for more.
Did I mention they were also greedy?

Eventually the fruit would all be eaten and guest and possums would all go their separate ways to enjoy the rest of the evening.

This night however, one particular possum who had taken a bit of a liking to me decided to wait and see if there was more fruit available.  I was sitting there just watching as he edged closer to me. 

Then all of a sudden, he reached out his little head towards my fingers
And
Ouch
The little bugger bit me

Guess he thought I was apple, or maybe my fingers smelt like apple.

And it hurt

And it bled

And I yelled

He ran

And hubby laughed

And that was the first and only time I have ever been attacked by a wild Australian animal

So if you are traveling my way, it isn't the deadly snakes or stinging jellyfish that are the real danger to tourists.

You just gotta watch out for those bloody cute furry critters, especially with apple juice on your hands

Bug Spray? Check.

Today’s post is brought to you by Danger Boy at DangerLeanings. He has provided this wonderful story about his Wifefish that made me swoon, laugh and feel a little sorry for him. But just a little, mostly I laughed :)

My “Save JumbleMash” Contribution.

Hi, I’m Dangerboy.  When Jumble posted “I need guest bloggers.  Badly”, I had two reactions.  The first was to re-read it with the voice from Gauntlet II:  “Red Warrior needs food badly!”  The second was to think “How can I not help?”  Jumble was one of my first followers, after all.  And this blogging thing seems to thrive on community, which means making connections, and pitching in when we can.  So without further preamble, I’d like drop my quarter in, so we don’t hear the ominous “Jumble Mash is about to die”.

I’m going to deviate slightly from the suggestions that Jumble laid out, though I’m branching from the theme of “awful first date.”  I’ve been lucky enough to never really have a memorably bad first date.  It was always the last that stuck out in my mind.  I did, however, have a story on deck from my honeymoon with Wifefish.  I’ll share the moral of the story now:  great, awesome things sometimes have a price.

Wifefish and I honeymooned in Florida, splitting our time between a romantic one-bedroom cottage on the beach of Sanibel Island and being overgrown kids in Orlando.  Despite some distractions , it was a mostly wonderful time.  Note that word, “mostly.”  It’s going to be important here in a bit.

The cottage was wonderful, set at the point where Sanibel and Captiva islands nearly touch.  Imagine the glorious ability to walk out of your back door and be on one of the best beaches for seashells that exists anywhere…Sanibel is legendary for its shelling.  For someone from the Midwest, this was as decadent a time as we needed. 

We saved money by eating in mostly, using the grill in the back “yard” for steaks and such.  We spent most of our time on the beach, though we also explored the island from time to time, and of course we also retreated to the cottage bedroom a bit…you only get one honeymoon, after all.

On our last night at Sanibel, we decided to steal away into the darkness for a romantic rendezvous on the beach.  We grabbed a couple of towels and, grinning like school children about to skip class for the first time, set out into the night. 

The beach, as we had hoped, was deserted.  What followed was a time of giggling, of gasping, and freezing stock still everytime a set of headlights went by on the road.  It was wonderful.  For just a while, we were love.  It was one of those events that lives perpetually in the art gallery of the mind, perfectly framed and preserved under glass.  It was our own take on From Here To Eternity, and we savored it like fine wine. 

Those of you familiar with the night time beaches of Florida will, perhaps, already know our folly.  Wifefish and I lived on in blissful ignorance, though, returning to the cottage to finally rest our heads on soft pillows and drift into the sleep of the sated, cuddling each other fiercely enough to say a thousand “I love you’s” without words.

Morning came.  A last trip to the beach yielded an amazing sight, as the lapping waves of the receding tide had deposited a 2 foot high mound of shells for us to pick through.  I still have most of those shells.  I paid no attention to the occasional itch on each side of my rib cage, thinking nothing of the mild discomfort.  Perhaps I’d had too much sun. 

This is the moment, had I been in a horror film, where the audience would start screaming “You FOOL!” at the screen.  Remember that word “mostly”?  This is the part where it bears impact on the story.

We drove to Orlando, ready to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon.  Something was terribly wrong, though.  The itching had not stopped, it had grown worse.  By the time we’d finished dinner, I felt like eighty five tiny leprechauns had crawled into my shirt with crème broulee torches to make Danger Boy Flambe. 

Returning to the room, I pulled up my shirt to reveal two stripes on either side of my torso, a plethora of red, angry bumps.  We counted eighty-seven.  I chewed on my knuckle to keep from scratching.  

There is, in the south, a creature named the No-See-Um.  It is aptly named.  You have no idea these little bastards are around, until it is far, far too late.  And woe betide you should you take an evening romp without the industrial grade deep woods Off! with extra DEET and uranium-235, for you shall surely pay the price in becoming that most woeful of comic book characters, The Walking Itch.

A frenzied trip to the local drug store ensued immediately.  Calamine was purchased.  Oatmeal bath was purchased.  Benadryl and Ibuprofen rounded out the buying frenzy, and we raced back to the room. 

I slept that night in the bathtub, the oatmeal soothing the itch enough for me to close my eyes at least for a while.  At 2 am, I rose and drained the tub, attempting to return to the bed.  At 2:15, the second oatmeal bath was run, the water as hot as I could stand it.  I did my best not to resent Wifefish’s mere handful of bites.  You only get one honeymoon, after all.

Relief was unobtainable, but I gamely grunted through a day at Sea World, loaded up on pain relievers and antihistamines.  I swear, the dolphins were laughing at me as I struggled to keep my hands in my pockets and off of my battle-scarred sides, where late the No-See-Ums had drunk deeply of my blood, like Dracula on a three-day bender.  The penguins cavorted, taunting me with their freedom of movement; my every step was agony. 

I struggled to keep from becoming Mr. Grumpass.  I don’t know if I succeeded, but the honeymoon wasn’t ruined.  That’s either a testament to my iron will or Wifefish’s capacity for forgiveness, and I’m guessing the tallymark there goes to column B. 

The fortunate end of this story is that between the oatmeal, the calamine lotion, pain reliever and antihistamine, combined with beer and the newlywed euphoria of our honeymoon, I only had one sleepless night.  Day two post-attack was much easier to deal with, and by day three I was only scratching in public once every 10 minutes, almost normal for a human male.  The honeymoon was saved, the marriage still goes strong, and if I ever have Sex On The Beach again, it will likely be made with Vodka and Peach Schnapps. 

Or bug spray.  Lots and lots of bug spray.

Well, that’s my contribution to the Jumble Mash Is Busy Foundation, and I hope you enjoyed it.  Feel free to stop on by at Dangerous Leanings, we try to have as much fun there as y’all do here.  (See Jumble, I used one of your native West Virginia words!)  

Note from Tress: Ya'll go on over and check out Danger Boy :)

Hot Yoga

The absolutely wonderful Ms. Amy from Life’s Journey with a Smile is my guest blogger today. Make sure you stop over at her place at show her some love and enjoy!

Hi Jumble Mashers! I’m Amy from Life’s Journey with a Smile.

(I made that beauty of a header you see up there!). Tress asked for guest posters and she received! This is actually my first guest post and I had no idea what to talk about. I wanted to give you guys a bit of a taste of what I talk about on my own personal blog, while fitting in with Jumble Mashers.

Tress and I were chatting about Hot Yoga (and my obsession with it) and we decided that maybe I should talk about exercise! So here we go... 

I originally started my blog in attempt to remain accountable for my desire to lose weight. It’s been almost a year and while I had life get in the way a bit and haven’t lost a whole lot (about 15 pounds now)...one thing I have gained a lot of clarity on is exercise.  I used to hate exercise. I was one of those people that would go to the gym to lose weight and just hate it. I hated exercising, running was the devil and I just wanted results right. now. 

Around November I made a commitment to myself to start exercising three times a week and I did it. I just thought I had to go to the gym and maybe eventually I would really enjoy lifting weights and feeling like I was dying. I didn’t miss a week until after Christmas. I did enjoy how exercising made me feel, but I still didn’t love it. I was starting to lose my drive to keep going regularly and then I met hot yoga and fell in love.

A new gym opened up and I tried some of their free hot yoga classes and was instantly hooked. I finally found a form of exercise that I actually enjoyed doing, that challenged me and made me feel good...and that didn’t stop there. I didn’t hate exercising anymore, I loved it! 

Remember how I said I hated running? Well I secretly always wished I was just good at it so I didn’t have to hate it... and then about a month ago I started running...and guess what? I love that too! So now I have two forms of exercise that I absolutely love, and it’s no longer an issue of forcing myself to go to the gym.

Am I telling you to try hot yoga and running to love them too? No not at all. I highly encourage you try them if that spikes your interest...but what I’m saying is to find a type of exercise that you actually like instead of just going to the gym and doing a boring routine. If you like that type of exercise that’s great, but for me, the key to sustaining a healthy lifestyle is actually enjoying it!

Life is too short to do stuff you don’t enjoy.

Note from Tress: While Amy and I were chatting about the guest post, I confessed to her that I knew NOTHING about hot yoga except from what I had read on her blog.  Amy found and sent me these two videos to give me an idea of what it was all about and I thought it would be great if we added them to the post. So here ya go.

 

That's a good way to phrase it

Sunshine over at Awesome Title Here (which, to me, is a purty awesome blog title) says she is a lurker here at Jumble Mash which made me sad when I started reading her blog because DAMN! I wish I would have found it earlier. She is one funny lady. Please enjoy her top ten list and then go check her out!

First, I’d like to take a moment to thank Ms. Jumble Mash for allowing me to impose myself on her blog… she says I’m doing her the favor, but I think the opposite is true. I am honored to be on the same page as such an awesome pink turtle. ::swoon:: Okay, seriously. Much thanks to you, JM, and also to the JMers who are reading.

My guest post for Jumble Mash is going to be a top ten list (or, however many I can come up with) on those cliché phrases that we all seem to know and use, but don’t really make sense.

Top Ten Most Stupid Phrases that Still Exist Today

(in no particular order)

*A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

-I’m pretty sure that I can pick up a penny on the street and not have earned it, unless you count bending over to reach it. Wait a minute, not so fast, mister! This leads me into the next one on the list…

*See a penny, pick it up, then all day you'll have good luck

-This is ridiculously untrue. That would be like saying you know you’re going to have a good day when Corey and Topanga get back together on TV in the morning before you leave for work… What, no one else thinks that but me?

*A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

-I do not want a bird in my hand. I am not going to ‘the Bush’ to get a bird. In fact, I am terrified of birds, so even typing out the word ‘bird’ is giving me anxiety. There are so many B-words in this bullet that my anxiety is now through the roof.

*Three sheets to the wind

-Okay, this would make sense if we were talking about sailing, but why, oh why, do people use this phrase when someone is piss drunk? Let’s get a little crazy, shall we? Let’s change this phrase to “Oh man, that guy was so totally ‘rocket ship to the moon and back’. No? Oh, right, because it doesn’t make sense, either.

*Put your money where your mouth is

-I understand the idea behind it, but I do NOT want to put money in my mouth, or anywhere near it, really. That’s disgusting.

*It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game

-On the contrary! It really is about how you play the game: if you play it right, you win; if you play it wrong, you lose. Plain and simple.

*You can’t have your cake and eat it, too

-Yes I can! I feel that ‘having’ and ‘eating’ cake is the same thing, therefore, yes, I can have my cake and eat it, too. Don’t tell me I can’t. I love cake. Preferably some kind of vanilla cake with butter cream or cream-puff cream. Yum.

*Make your bed and then lie in it

-Really, this is just ass-backwards. (Sorry JM, I don’t know how you’ll feel about cursing, so I’ve tried to keep it pretty clean.) When I make my bed, I usually leave the house! I sure as hell don’t get into it once I’ve made it; that would be a supreme case of wasted effort. (I rarely make my bed, regardless; I don’t see the point if I’m going to get back into it later on.) Again, I know the concept behind the phrase, but where’s the effort? Where is the creativity!?

*The apple of my eye

-There should be a list of people who are allowed to use this expression: William Tell, Johnny Appleseed, Buddy Valastro from Carlo’s Bakery, and someone who works for Fruit of the Loom. Anyone else should be banned for using any and all fruit references to describe a person or thing that they enjoy.

I'm sure Jumble Mash has excellent readers, and you guys have idioms/cliches/phrases that bother the hell out of you, too. Share them, if you please, and thanks for letting me be your guest!

Note from Tress: Jumble Mash is not a curse free zone. Feel free to use colorful language :)

Will these things all fit in the purselet? If so, that'd be awesome.

The Onion at A lot of Layers presented me with this gem! A list of things that she cannot live without! I love it and it made me laugh. I hope you all enjoy and don’t forget to check her out when you’re done!


1. Chapstick – every day, several times a day. No fancy-shmancy stuff. We are talking the WAXY tube of CHAPSTICK. It goes on like rubber cement. My Dad called it “lip-ice”, which makes me smile. I miss him fondly when I shmear mine on.

2. Onions – Stop bitching. You need them. You MUST HAVE them, or your food will be ruined. Take a Tums.

3. Caffeine – This post brought to you by Starbucks.

4. Fingernail Clippers – Go ahead and think this is stupid. But have a snaggy nail for a day or two, try to “file” it off on your jeans and then you will be on board.

5. Tampons – girls you know of what I speak. These changed the world for women in bathing suit season everywhere.

6. DVR – I could get rid of all extra channels so long as I could tape the few measly ones I had to watch at my leisure. And fast forward through commercials.

7. The purselet – It’s my purse’s baby. It fits on your shoulder and carries credit cards, cash, a lipstick and a gun (just kidding). The purselet - because sometimes a purse is just too much to lug around.

8. High thread count sheets – they are THAT good. Like buttah. You’ll inevitably forget to throw them in the dryer and you’ll stand there and WAIT for them to dry instead of putting on the others. Yes, you will. Soofffttt.

9. The Daily Newspaper – It’s a rag. It’s local hokey, not a USA today. It’s too thin and not always fair and balanced..or accurate. It also has spelling errors. Yet I will walk through FIRE to get to it each and every evening. Don’t touch it before I have read it, or mess up the pages or I will chop your arm off.

10. The Crackberry – Even with my blackberry injury, I am still overusing it. I can’t stop. I need a 12-step program. I’m looking one up right now…on my blackberry.

Here they come to save the day!

My first savior!


When I asked for guest bloggers, ranting was one of the topics I gave as an idea. Amy over at Everyday A did not fail to deliver a rant. A hilarious rant. Please enjoy her guest post and then go check her out. You won’t be disappointed.


An Open Letter to Minivan Owners and Operators

Dear Minivan Owners and Operators,

Why? Why is it always YOU tailgating me in rush hour traffic? Why do you always insist on traveling 5 mph faster than anyone else on the highway? Why do you yammer away on your cell phone simultaneously pushing 80 mph while solar glare is blinding everyone else on the road? Why do you weave in and out of every lane like you are Mario and Donkey Kong is about to shoot a turtle shell at your ass?*

Perhaps you have been lured into a false sense of security by every minivan commercial that touts top of the line safety features. Let me assure you that your reckless driving fully negates ANY safety features your vehicle may or may not have.

I'm not going to lie and lead you to believe that I obey every limit and law as a motorist. Don't think that I won't pass you on the right if you are driving 65 mph in the left lane...because I will. But I always go the speed limit on the Lowell Connector (more out of fear of being pulled over than anything else) and I make a conscious effort to keep my driving habits from pissing anyone off.

Because you are the owner/operator of a minivan I am assuming that you have and/or transport children in your chariot of death. Not only are you risking my life (which I happen to be quite fond of) but you are endangering tiny humans. If nothing else, you are instilling poor driving habits in future generations.

So please, for the sake of everyone (but mostly myself) slow the fuck down...because I promise, if you maim me or my car, this letter will seem like rainbows and sunshine.

XOXO,

Amy

*If you are a minivan owner or operator and none of these apply to you then kudos to you and your driving record. Your fenders thank you.

Guest Blogger

Thank you so much to Morgan from The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps for giving me the day off today. I'm still feeling yucky, but better than before. Morgan decided to write a letter to her younger self and I think it is wonderful and very thoughtful. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. And after you are done reading it...go check out her blog!

Dear 13 year old Morgan,



This is your 18 year old self. Yes, time travel, isn’t it wonderful? No there is no shrinking/growing ray like you made ideas for back in middle school (although it is still a bad ass invention that should be made), and no high school isn’t what you think it’s going to be. The reason why I’m taking the time to write this to you is to help you, reassure you , that everything will be alright.


At the beginning of your band career nothing will change. People will still ignore you, still call you names behind your back, sabotage your reputation like you had one in the first place, but guess what? You’re going to get through it. You will make a few close friends and the rest of them, be nice, but just fuck them. You know why? They may seem nice and what not but the majority of the band isn’t going to give a rat’s ass about you until you finally grow up. I won’t go into detail because that may alter what happened and make me totally different and such, just be sure that I know what I’m talking about. I mean, I already lived through it.


No you won’t go straight to a university like Mom and Dad said you were going to, and in fact, you’re not even moving! As far as right now things are going to stay in the same house and you will get a scholarship at the community college. Trust me, you think that you’re letting everyone down, but it’s the best for your sanity. You will not do all AP classes all throughout high school but be glad, you actually get to have a life, and sleep. Oh and by the way, get more sleep. There are these gnarly bags under my eyes that never seem to go away.


Don’t worry about boys, boys are trouble (you will find out what I mean soon), they can be nice but don’t spend too much time on them, the ones that will make the best impact on your life will fall right into your lap. But I will tell you one thing, just because you lost contact with S and B doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way, but if a boy does come around, stick to your girlfriends first. They will have your back always.


Please please please please…do something with your looks. That whole nothing but a ponytail, jeans and t-shirt thing doesn’t work very much after middle school. Jazz it up, use make up, get into dresses! Skirts even! You are a beautiful person, you might not believe me now, but you will eventually. Stop pulling your hair! All it does is make you bald, there is enough stress with life and such to worry about something, get into another hobby please!

You will get through high school, you got through middle school didn’t you? Yeah sure the pulling and cutting seemed like that was the only way to cope, yes lots of stuff happened and you found out that your brother was Autistic was hard, but you’re going to get through it honey.


Here are some things that I will warn you about through your journey through high school. Do not quit band in any way shape or form, it may seem like it’s hard but you’ll get through it, if anything get into the piccolo junior year!!!! That will make things a lot better on your self esteem, you will become the best player in the section. Get a better relationship with the director, because of my shyness I was more miserable than I needed to be, be assertive.

You may think that everyone is out to get you but everyone isn’t. People will come to you to help them get out of a mess that they have made. There will be a few horrible teachers that you will hate, but after freshman year it gets a lot better.


Follow your gut, that will save you in more ways than you can imagine. Just wait till you start driving!


Alright, I got to go, be nice to the family and don’t end things with yourself. You will make it.


Love,
Your future self




P.S. I hope you’ll be glad being me when you’re ready.

I'm elsewhere today, but that's ok, someone is filling in for me.

Today I'm over at Jess' place talking about my favorite TV shows. Ya'll should go over there, because well, I asked nicely? Oh and because Jess rocks. And because you all should watch what I watch. No? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Also, I thought that Jumble Mash needed some male perspective. I mean, I have had guest bloggers, but never of the male variety. And since I've been a sucky blogger the last few days, I've asked Simple Dude to take over for me. And seriously, if you aren't following him, you are going to be eaten alive by dinosaurs. Mean ones. Yeah, you don't want that.

I'll shut up now (honestly, I got my nails done yesterday and I like how they feel on the keyboard).

...over to you Simple Dude.

I'm going to make a quick assumption about the readers here at Jumble Mash in that many of you have either visited my blog, read a post of mine or at least have seen one of my comments left here or on other blogs.  If not, you must live under a rock because I comment all over the place.  I call myself the Simple Dude based on my blog name - Simple Dude in a Complex World.  I can be a real smart ass and somewhat cynical, so keep that in mind as you read this.  And in reality I am probably not as Simple as I'd like folks to believe - in some ways I'm downright Complex. 

I've considered trying a flip-side blog, calling it Complex Dude in a Simple World because, lets face it, the majority of the population is made up of morons.  No, not Mormons.  Mormons are a very small minority who live in Utah.  They refuse to dance but love bicycles.  And Mormons sure do spend a hell of a lot of money on TV commercials lately don't they?  Anyway.. back to the post.  I'm talking about MORONS here.  I lived next to Mr. & Mrs. Moron themselves for about five years and I wrote a couple posts about them.  These two peeps are the perfect example of how the world is full of dumb people.  They would ask me stupid questions all the time and I eventually got really sick of answering them, so for the last year I lived there I would entertain myself by telling them ridiculous things. 

I once had Mr. Moron nearly convinced that there was going to be a full solar eclipse in a couple days and that he would need to buy some sunscreen since the chance of a sunburn was far greater during an eclipse.  Seriously.  And when I decided he wasn't quite buying what I was selling (although he thought about it a lot) I said "Oh, I'm just kidding!" with a laugh as I always would after messing with him.  I think he was convinced I liked him and we were best friends since I messed with his head so much. 

The Moron couple are just two examples of the idiot masses in this world.  There is a local radio host here that says 7 out of 10 people in the world are not worth talking to..  basically because they are stupid.  He says it as a silly bit, trying to be funny.  And it's probably exaggerated but not by very much.  Next time you are at the mall or Target or any place with a large group of people, look around you.  I mean really look closely at your fellow citizens.  You'll see your share of morons.  But also yokels, dipshits, slapdicks, jagoffs, hilljacks, fucktards, dense dolts and brainless bumpkins.  They are everywhere.

Then when you get home turn on the news or read some of the top stories on your favorite website for current events.  The ratio of stories about dumb people outweigh the ones about something smart someone did by at least 4 to 1.

I'm not saying I'm some kind of genius or scholar.  Hell, there are probably spelling or grammatical errors right here in this post.  But I use my common sense a little more then most people and I think I have above average intelligence.  Unfortunately when I look at society, me being above "average" is probably not saying much. 

Not much we can do about any of this, it's just a sad observation.  Do you agree with me?  No?  Then you are probably one of the 7 out of 10.  :) 

SD

Listen To Mom

I'm taking the day off. For all of you that were concerned about my little sister, she is doing great and is home now. 

Anyways, thank you times a billion to Barb at This and That for guest posting. She delivered exactly what I had in mind! Enjoy!

First of all I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Jumble Mash for asking me to be a guest blogger. It's always a thrill to be asked to write for someone's blog.

What I thought I'd write today is a little different. Lately, I've been graced with compliments from many of the bloggers I follow in that they've referred to me as "like the mother I never had" or "my other mother". Maybe not those exact words but you get the point. I don't take those comments lightly. They bring tears to my eyes and since I love to help people and tell about my experiences in order to benefit someone I thought it would be fun to write some things about life from a mother's (and grandmother's) view and hope that you will use it either for yourself, your child or a good friend or sibling.

1.   Budget your money. One of the greatest things I ever learned was how to make a budget. Sit down and figure out exactly what you spend each month. Then divide that by how often you get paid. If you get paid weekly, divide that by four. If you get paid every two weeks, divide it by two. Figure in your rent, food, utilities, gasoline, anything that you pay regularly. Then add in extra for miscellaneous because there will always be some kind of emergency. Put this amount aside every payday and when your bill comes due, you have the money. It's so simple of a concept and yet hardly anyone follows it.

2.   Learn how to handle your finances. I worked in banking for over 20 years and was continuously trying to help people figure out their finances and to balance a checkbook. If you don't know how to do it, go to your bank and ask for help if you have a problem with bouncing checks or ATM fees and overdrafts. You will be one step ahead if you can understand what to do with your own money. I couldn't believe the number of college kids graduating with high honors who had no idea how to balance a checkbook. This should be taught in high school as a mandatory course.

3.   Save money regularly. Before you pay any bill, pay yourself first. Even if it's $20 a paycheck, it's something. The more money you make in your job/career, pay yourself more.

4.   Do not use credit cards when you don't have the money. The real purpose of credit cards is to build credit for buying a home or a car. Good credit comes from using a credit card when you have the actual money to pay for something and then paying the bill in full when it comes in.

5.   Don't ever let anyone lay their hands on you in any hurtful way. This one is probably geared more for the females but it could apply to males also. It has to do with dating/marriage. . Too many women are in abusive relationships because they allowed a guy to physically mistreat them. The guy apologizes and gets all lovey dovey and the gal falls right back into the losers arms and a pattern begins. I do know there are also men who are abused as well so listen up. The first time any one lays a hand on you END IT. There is no reason for it. It's unacceptable. And a person like that will do it AGAIN. You don't deserve it and someone better WILL come along. This I promise. You are too good for something like this.

6.   Use Birth Control. There's no excuse to have an unplanned baby in this day and age. There are clinics, doctors, support groups, counselors, etc. Unless you are married, financially stable and have lived life a little, don't get pregnant. You are not doing yourself or the child any good by not planning this one out. It's a mistake that lasts a lifetime and can cause a hard life for all when it's not necessary. For the girl, no guy is worth trapping with a child. It will only cause them to resent you and resent the child. For the guys, wear protection. You should anyway but wear it for birth control purposes. Don't rely on the girl to take care of it all. There is NO EXCUSE. Free condoms are everywhere. If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to make a baby but you are not mature enough to be a parent.

7.   Take a self defense class. Learn how to protect yourself. Too many crimes are committed where the victim doesn't fight back. Be aware of your surroundings. Learn what to look for and how to prevent a crime. I bet the statistics on rape would be a lot lower if a person knew self-defense. Get some friends together and go as a group. Practice as a group. Be smart.

8.   Enjoy life before settling down. Get out there and see the world. Travel, learn about different cultures, take up art or a hobby that you think you might enjoy. Once you can be content with your life, you can then make a partner a very happy person. If you are happy, the sky is the limit.

9.   When you are in a relationship, don't try to control it. The only successful relationship is one that is built on compromise, trust and above all RESPECT. Respect for yourself first and then for the other.

10.   Pay attention to your children. If you are going to bring one into the world you owe it to that child to listen and learn and teach them what's right and wrong and how to grow up a well rounded individual.

So there you have it. 10 things that I feel very strongly about and hope to pass it on to others. If even one person learns something from this blog I've done my job. So please read it and tell all your followers about it. All I can say is "Listen to Mom"

A collaboration...

Mynx and I decided to mash our brains together and bring you a little something special. We were passing ideas back and forth and finally came up with a plan to share the contrasts between a new couple and an established couple. Boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. Mynx and Hubby have been married for 18 years.


So please enjoy…New Couple vs. A couple of old farts who haven't killed each other yet (Mynx's words not mine)

JM- On Sunday mornings, Boyfriend and I sleep in as long as we can. Then we get up and have either cereal or pancakes, because well, that’s the only thing we know how to make. Then we watch TV until we decide if we should venture outside. If yes, we go visit friends and family. If no, we stay in our PJ’s all day.

Mynx- Sundays I am usually awake early.  Habit from when the boys are little I think.  Seems the older I get the less sleeping in I get.  Weekends are my turn to grab the paper and make the coffee.  Love lying in bed with the paper.  Hubby gets the inserts and junk advertising, while I claim the main bits.

Usually next out of bed, Big C will stumble out to the living room and become a zombie in front of the TV.  MJ will stir last, time dependent on when his shift at work starts.  Second coffee while I eat some cereal, first load of washing in the machine and plans made for house hunting.

JM- We go on dates a couple times a month. It used to be more, but Boyfriend works a lot now. Our dates consist of dinner and sometimes drinks and/or a movie. Sometimes we skip straight to the drinks. Oh and I get flowers, too!

Mynx- Dates? Lol.  Maybe once every 2 or 3 months, hubby and I might go out for a meal.  Usually a "date" for us will be coffee at Macca's.  Sometimes he even buys it.  On special occasions (or if he has really pissed me off somehow) we will share cheesecake with the coffee.  Used to get flowers at random times with him telling me that he likes to give  them to me when I don't expect them.  , he must think I expect them all the time because for some reason I don't get them much anymore.

JM-If we are apart for more than a day, I go insane. Seriously. Everyone says, “Absence makes the heart ground fonder.” Bullshit. Absence makes me angry.

Mynx-  Although I miss him when he goes away, having the house to myself is absolute bliss.  Do what I want, when I want and no dirty socks or dishes to pick up.

I might bitch and moan about the time he spends involved with Archery, but it gives me space to do stuff for me.  Going away? Bubble bath and chick flicks here I come.

JM- We don’t have “our money.” He has his money and I have mine. As long as he has money to split the bills, I don’t care, nor do I have any say in what he buys. And vice versa.

Mynx-  Always been our money, and I made sure when we got married that the house was in my name too.  Joint bank accounts into which our pay goes into. We have spending money out of the budget to do what we want.  No one really keeps count although I look after the bill paying.  Sometimes I think he believes we have a money tree outside. Of course the less he knows about how much I spend at times the better. 

JM- Silence kills me. If we are sitting in a room together, he must talk to me. About anything.

Mynx- We can sit together for hours not talking.  He isn't a big talker anyway.  Shock horror, I have even messaged him from another room to make the cuppa tea lol.

JM- Since moving in together, the only thing I’ve found that drives me crazy about him is that when he shaves, he leaves the hairs on the sink.

Mynx-What drives me mad about hubby?  His ability to sleep anywhere at anytime.  And his domestic blindness, where he just cant see what needs to be done.  Hairs on the sink? Belly button fluff in the corner of the shower is worse.

JM- Our biggest and most frequent argument is about the amount of time he puts in at work. I hate that he works so much. And mostly for selfish reasons (i.e. I’m bored or lonely)

Mynx- If we argue it is mostly because I feel taken for granted.  We really don't argue much. 

JM- Our first ever conversation was through a text message.We talked on the phone before we ever met.

Mynx- We made small talk at a Rotaract meeting, where I met him.  He was the Membership officer in charge of making new members welcome.  He did his job a little too well with this new member. Our first mobile phone was years away.

JM-Weekend getaways don’t happen often because we are poor, but when they do, we find a dog sitter, pack one suitcase and hit the road.

Mynx- Now that the boys are older, we can get away for a couple of nights.  Once a year or more if we are lucky.  Either a 5 star hotel somewhere in the city or a gorgeous BnB in a wine region.  We love going to outdoor concerts and try to make a weekend of it.  Planning a trip to Perth without the kids next Easter.

JM-  We only make dinner about three times a week. All the other days we either go out to eat, or I’m home by myself and eat junk food for dinner.

Mynx- I do 90% of the cooking and that is usually every night.  Takeaway when i am tired but never more than once per week.  We have eaten out a little more lately because of all the fuss and bother with moving house.

JM: Boyfriend takes out the trash and occasionally does dishes. He cooks when he is home before me, and that's about it. I wash clothes, mop, vacuum, dishes, cook, bath the dog, clean the toilet and shower, and pretty much everything else. It's not that he's lazy or just sits around and watches me do the housework, he just works a lot. If I wait on him to do it, it will never get done. I even cleaned out the garage by myself on Wednesday.

Mynx: Kids do the rubbish and recycling chore and the dishes.  Big C is supposed to do lawns and keep the loo clean (that's part of his pocket money). I only work half days so I do most of the cleaning, 90% of the cooking and all the grocery shopping.  Hubby, well, he tries.  He will bring in the washing off the line, fold it and then leave the piles on the floor for you know who to pick up.  Half job Harry I call him. He will do the dishes even though it is the kids job when I could really use help with the bathroom.  Honestly that man is spoilt rotten and is pretty clueless about what inside jobs need doing.  Outside? Just don't let him near my baby plants when he had a bottle of weed killer in his hands, can't tell the difference between a foot tall thistle and a newly planted pansy.

JM: This is the first Christmas Boyfriend and I will celebrate together. I have no idea what he's getting me. Not one. I haven't even had a birthday since we've been dating, so I don't know what my birthday will be like either. I got him a few surprise gifts for Christmas, but everything else he knows about because he picked them out. For his birthday back in July, I took him to the zoo, then to a comedy club, and we stayed over night in an awesome hotel.

Mynx: I still remember our first Christmas. And my first Christmas gift.  We had been together 6 months and I was hoping for something romantic. I got..wait for it...a street directory. (for young people that is a book we used before we invented GPS units for the car)  I have never let him forget it.  He also quickly learned that appliances especially replacement appliances (replacing old broken ones) are not desired unless specifically asked for.  Last year tho, he really had form.  We share a bank account and I keep track, he knows that.  So my clever hubby usually just withdraws the agreed amount of cash and goes shopping.  Last year, not so smart. Just put it all on eftpos.  So I knew not only how much he spent but where.  (let's just say it was at a shop that you can only buy one type of thing) It was like finding it unwrapped before Christmas. I was devastated. He returned whatever it was. He wont do that again

JM: When Boyfriend and I go shopping, we usually go to the stores I want to go to first. He will NOT hold my purse...ever. It drives me crazy when I'm trying to browse through clothing because WE ALL know women cannot look at clothes without touching them and he will just stand there, empty handed, and not hold my purse! LOL. Then we usually go to the stores he wants to go to and I'll just follow him around while he looks and put in my "Mmm hmms" accordingly. We are both impatient people regularly, but when shopping, for some reason, neither of us mind waiting on the other.

Mynx: JM, you actually ask him to hold your bag? Oh I have never done that.  Perhaps the purchases but my handbag is off limits to all males in this house.  Although that doesn't stop them asking me to carry their crap when we are out.  If I am shopping for clothes, he is a Houdini, "what do you think of this luv?" I will say as I turn around only to find him gone. Usually loitering outside the shop or chatting to some other dragged along husband. Although he does act lot more interested when I shop for underwear for some reason.

JM: Boyfriend and I share a lot of the same hobbies, and we are big geeks. When we have some free time, we play video games, board games, WoW, cards, *cough* Munchkin, Rock Band, etc. I like to blog and boyfriend blogs a little bit, too. We both read a lot (well, not as much as we used to). When we do things apart, I usually go out with my friends to a bar or club. He's not much of a bar person, so I really have no idea what he does when I'm gone.

Mynx: Hobbies are the one area we don't try to share.  We both love our tech stuff and he is currently angling for a new phone (Nokia N8 or something)  He has been involved with stuff like Dog club and scouts and now his current passion is archery.  My hobbies tend to be more home based although I will at times get a gym membership and I am loving my Zumba classes.  I blog and he is oblivious to the blog world. We both like to read but probably don't as often as we should.  Board games still have a place with us. Hobbies give us time to be apart.  I love going to the movies with girlfriends and shopping with my mum.  

You know JM, if anybody asks why we seem to keep together I guess I would say respect and trust.  We allow each other freedom to be ourselves and have time to ourselves.  We try not to sweat the small stuff and work hard at being united when dealing with the kids.  Marriage can be hard work, full of compromise at times.  Hubby quite often drives me insane but we have only ever gone to sleep angry with each other once. We both slept so badly we will never so that again.  Mind there have been many a tear before bedtime as we work through what ever has caused us to argue in the first place.  I accept that he is a clueless male a lot of the time and he accepts that I am a pushy over organizer. Somehow it just works for us.

Sounds like a happy marriage to me, Mynx. I can only hope Boyfriend and I can continue to be happy for years to come! He compromises well, and I believe I do, too, but we still have so much to learn.