Thursday, April 28, 2011

Batman Bookshelf

This post is long overdue.

A few weeks ago (a month maybe?) Dad came to visit me and we got to talking about me wanting a new bookshelf. Well being the awesome man that he is, asked me some questions, I ended up drawing a picture on a post it note and then a week later, he told me to come to his house with old clothes on because I needed to paint. He also told me to bring something for the top of the bookshelf to make a pretty design.

So I walked into Dad's woodshop to find this...
It looked WAY better than my post it note blue print.

Then I showed him what I brought to make a design for the top.
 Hey! It was all I had! And once he stopped laughing at me...he got to creating the top. turned out awesome!
 Oh and I painted while he did the cutting. I had more paint on me than I did the shelf.

 We ran out of paint, so Dad had to put the second coat on the next day.

And the finished product...
The best part are the little holes he drilled in the top two outside shelves.

No wires!

As you can see, I've already almost filled it up so the two little cubbies with the turtles may have to turn into book storage as well.

And next up his sleeve is a coffee table with a sliding top so that we can hide all of our controllers in it. Can't wait.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I was reading Lyndy Lou’s post about it being a small world and as soon as I saw the title, a story (more like a series) popped in my head that I thought I’d share with you.

Before Boyfriend and I started dating, we did not know each other at all. (You can read the story here) We talked on the phone for a while before we started dating and then a few weeks later I asked him if he wanted to go to my little sister’s birthday party. It was actually a cook out at my mom’s place and he agreed to go. It was the first time he would meet everyone.

We pulled into the driveway and he gave me the strangest look. He said, “Um, this is your mom’s house?” I looked around and nodded my head, but wondered what was wrong with it. I mean, she has a nice house.

He laughed and got out of the car. We were still new, so I was nervous and now extremely self conscious.

Before I could even get over to him, my step dad, his sister and a couple of his nieces and nephews flanked Boyfriend, some even giving him hugs. WTF?

Come to find out, my step dad is Boyfriend’s cousin. He knew more people at the party than I did. It was as if I was his guest.

Then I found out that his dad had been my sister’s and my step brothers’ teacher.

A few weeks later, he took me to his house to meet his mom (we’ll call her Betty). Betty was going through a divorce and I’m telling you, this woman is like an open book. Even at our first meeting, she shared very personal details with me and started telling me about her ex boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend (Jack) was mean to her and would push her around when he was drinking, but she claimed that he was the love of her life. She swore she’d never get back together with Jack because of his anger issues, but she knew in her heart of hearts that he was the love of her life.

Months and months and months later, while talking to my aunt about Boyfriend, she suddenly gasped when I mentioned his last name.

Her son, my cousin, is Jack. The same Jack that owns Betty’s heart.

Then even later in the relationship, we discovered that our grandmas had worked together at the same place and the same time...twice. They were like work BFF's back in the day...before we were ever thought of.

It definitely is a small, small world.

Monday, April 25, 2011


How was everyone's Easter? Mine was fantastic except for the whole eating too much thing. And my big sister moved about four hours away last week and this was the first holiday I've spent without her. And there was no Easter egg hunt, because it rained all day. Other than that, though, we got loads of candy and got to spend time with family.

I would like to thank all of my guest posters that reached out to help me. It was very much appreciated and I'd love to give you all great big hugs, but since I can't, here's an award instead.
The rules are simple this time around. Stand up and do a happy dance!

And if you haven't already, be sure to check out the award recipients.

Everyday A
A lot of Layers
Awesome Title Here
Life's Journey With a Smile
Dangerous Leanings
The Loaded Handbag 
A Bitch Called Mom
The Giggle Fest
Bursts of Bubbles
It's a Big Deal, It is to me!
Conquering the World

Again, thank you all so very much.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


My sincere apologies to my next guest poster, Pencil Girl, because this was supposed to be posted four hours ago. It's kind of fitting though, that this particular post is late. :) Enjoy!

Hey there, JumbleMashers!
When Tress  asked for guest posts, I signed up for it without a second thought. Maybe I should have given it a second thought though, because I'm like.. the laziest person on the planet, and barely manage to make myself type out a post for my own blog. :\
Moreover, I've never ever done a guest post, and have no clue as to what I'm supposed to crank out. :|
But since I did volunteer myself, I had to write something. A week later, I decided that I might as well justify why couldn't write this post last week itself. :P

Top 10 Reasons for not writing this guest post earlier

1.       The UFO!- I think the aliens have finally discovered our planet (not that we worked particularly hard to keep ourselves hidden :| ) and are circling around, trying to figure out whether our planet worth taking over. I was super busy trying to give them the impression that we really aren't worth the trouble. (Don't thank me yet. I don't know if it worked. :\ )
2.       Power failure- In my head. Honest. I wanted to write the post, but the very idea of a guest post made me blank out. :| :|
3.       The little monkey. That's what I call my brother. Apparently, his staring at Russell Peters make a fool of himself is more important than me sitting and staring at the screen with my fingers frozen over the keyboard. (I know!! :\ )
4.       The Big Three- Sleeping, Eating, and watching TV. I know you get this. Don't pretend you don't. Obviously, they're the most important things to do in the world. :|
5.       Because of 5. Whenever I need to start doing something, I'm always doing something else.  Obviously, I can only start after 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes never end. Ever.
6.       My cat wanted me to spend some time with him. Any cat owner will tell you that is on extremely rare occasions that your cat decides to give you some attention, and that you dare not displease his majesty by daring to ignore him. :|
7.       Because it's summer. That means it is hot. Very hot. I live in India. Indian summers? Not nice. Unless you count the mangoes. Mangoes are nice. :d Err… I kinda forgot why this was a reason for my not writing the guest post, but there was a reason. I swear.
8.       The delete key. That has got to be the suckiest key on the keyboard. It can eat up entire articles that you've painstakingly typed out to save Jumble Mash. (Who me? No I didn't even touch the Delete key! It ate up my post on it's own, I swear!! I guess it must have gotten hungry.. :\ )
9.       Because of top 10 lists. They suck you in. You read one, and then you have to read the next. And the next. And the next. And before you know it, it's one week later. :| I'm going to add facebook quizzes  to this one as well.
10.   That's it. There are only nine reasons. But you can add laziness as number 10. I won't mind. :P

That's all I have for now.
Anything you have to add to the list, feel free to do so.. :) Bouquets, or brickbats, I'll take them all.. :) :)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Best Wedding Movies OF ALL TIME

I am so happy to bring to you a post from my BBFF, Jess. Most of you probably know her, but if not, go over there and say hello and check out her awesome blog.

Hey guys, Jess here from It is a big deal, it is to me! As soon as I saw the Project Save Jumble Mash post, I felt that it was my duty - nay, my CALLING - to support this most benevolent of causes. The best way to do that, you ask?

Why, a Top 10 List, of course....The Top 10 Best Wedding Movies OF.ALL.TIME. Yes indeedy. Here we go!

10. Made of Honor

Stars: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan

Plot: Tom and Hannah are BFFs, and Tom thinks he's got it made, until Hannah is suddenly engaged to a Scot. With Hannah's wedding only weeks away, Tom realizes she's the one for him, but now he's got to break up the wedding....although he's the "Maid of Honor."

Favorite Scene: In the bar when they kiss. HOT.

Favorite Quote: "Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you."

9. Wedding Crashers

Stars: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, Bradley Cooper

Plot: Best friends John and Jeremy spend their weekends crashing weddings by pretending to be different people in order to hook up with women. They're having the time of their lives, until John finds himself fascinated with the attached, beautiful daughter of a senator.

Favorite Scene: The dinner scene. Awesome.

Favorite Quote: In response to " got a f**** problem with that?":"Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched."

8. Meet the Parents

Stars: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson

Plot: Pam's sister is getting married, and Greg wants to meet the parents to ask for their blessing to ask Pam to marry him. Things don't go according to plan, however, when Pam's father turns out to be the suspicious, secretly retired CIA agent guy who hates Greg.

Favorite Scene: When Greg attempts to say grace before dinner. Best prayer ever.

Favorite Quote: "I have nipples Greg. Can you milk me?"

7. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Stars: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett

Plot: Greek girl Toula meets non-Greek Ian, and they soon fall in love and plan to marry. However, the Greeks do weddings in a....different....sort of way.

Favorite Scene: The engagement party at Toula's parents' house.

Favorite Quote: "Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin."

6. Monster-in-Law

Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Michael Vartan, Jane Fonda and Wanda Sykes

Plot: When Charlie meets Dr. Kevin Fields, she believes she has finally found true love. Unfortunately her dream romance soon turns into a nightmare when Kevin's mother, dramatic former actress/talk show host Viola Fields, suddenly decides to break them up.

Favorite Scene: Every scene with Wanda Sykes.

Favorite Quote: "Fix your hair, you look like a damn cockatoo!"

5. The Proposal

Stars: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White

Plot: When generally grumpy publisher Margaret learns that her visa is about to expire, forcing her to return to Canada, she makes her assistant Andrew pretend to be engaged to her. Margaret accompanies Andrew to his family's home in Alaska for his grandmother's birthday party, where everyone learns of the "engagement" and subsequently plan a quick wedding.

Favorite Scene: The bachelorette party.

Favorite Quote: "You can do this, but that would require you to stop snacking on children while they dream."

4. Sweet Home Alabama

Stars: Reese Witherspoon, Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas

Plot: Up and coming New York designer Melanie is engaged to dreamy Andrew Hennings, but before she can marry him she has to end her first marriage to Jake Perry. In order to do that, though, she has to go home to Alabama.

Favorite Scene: Opening scene

Favorite Quote: "What you wanna be married to me for, anyhow?" "So I can kiss you any time I want."

3. The Wedding Singer

Stars: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore

Plot: Robbie Hart is the upbeat wedding singer who believes in true love until his fiance leaves him stranded at the altar. The only person who can bring him out of his depression is Julia Sullivan....who is also engaged. To a jerk.

Favorite Scene: Airplane.

Favorite Quote: "Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up."

2. Father of the Bride

Stars: Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Kimberly Williams-Paisley

Plot: Tightwad George Banks is having to plan a lavish wedding for his daughter, and hates every single minute of it.

Favorite Scene: When they visit Bryan's parent's house.

Favorite Quote: "Well, that's the thing about life, is the surprises, the little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you."

1. My Best Friend's Wedding

Stars: Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz, Rupert Everett

Plot: Jules and Michael have been best friends for years, but when Michael is suddenly about to be married, Jules realizes she wants him for herself. She goes to Chicago to be in the wedding - and to break it up.

Favorite Scene: When Michael and Jules are dancing on the barge while Michael sings "The Way You Look Tonight."

Favorite Quote: "It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy."

Well there you have it - my list of the top ten best wedding movies. Makes you wanna make out with someone right now, doesn't it? That's my cue...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Letter

Good morning Jumble Mashers! My next guest post is brought to you by Bubbles. She is incredibly talented, creative and very sweet. She chose to write about something that she is passionate about. Enjoy!

Dear Nobody in Particular

How are you today? I've been wondering how people in 2011 feel about good old fashioned snail mail.... I can hear you say what! Why on earth would I consider writing a letter when there are a million other ways to communicate, why should I spend my time with pen and paper....

Imagine receiving a letter that isn't a bill, isn't a bank statement, isn't a leaflet selling something.....
Imagine a chapter of a book but its not black and white and smelling stale
Imagine each and every word and letter formed especially for you...
The writing on the envelope isn't a typed address but a beautiful hand written piece of text which makes your heart leap because you know who its from.
the envelope is a dirty brown but a beautiful decorate piece of art work....
the stamp itself is unique and fun and you actually stop and think for a moment that maybe you should start a stamp collection...
or maybe not as it looks great just where it is....

Then you actually open the envelope....
the words leap out at you and you're already in your mind replying to each and every word!
That's what makes a great letter you know, where you sit down and before you know it you've written a chapter...
Its where you can write everything and anything down on paper
and someone somewhere is reading every word and taking their time to reply and give advice whether or not its what you want to hear.
You will find you share more with this friend then you do with people right in front of you,
it will help put situations niggling at the back of your mind in to better perspective.
The friendship doesn't stop there it continues when they are on holiday and send you a postcard and occasionally buy you a special gift like any other friend.

For me it doesn't stop there,
I love shopping for cute writing paper to match my mood,
the loves of my friend
or just the season at that time.
To decorate my letters with colourfully writing
stickers and tapes...
The only problem is that before I sit down to write I try and choose the paper that seems right at that time
but it turns in to a struggle as I want to use them all... maybe next time only next time I go through all the same thing again.

I wrap the letter up and send it on its way and my friend has now got a similar situation to face...
its just all goes around in one circle..
Still I prefer it to a phone call where there are constant boring pauses
you run out things to say but you want the other person to put it down,
the time isn't right when they phone...
Its better then an e-mail that you can never seem to find the time to reply to because you want to
look for a holiday,
buy something....
I'll reply to it tomorrow,
ok I'll reply to it tomorrow
only tomorrow never comes....

If you still aren't convinced that snail mail is great

why not take part in make my day

and I will share a tiny ounce
of what my life is about.
It is my life since writing letters is something I have done for the last 20 years!

So what do you think of snail mail in 2011?



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A Hero's Speech

Lynne over at Giggle Fest will be your entertainment for today. If you haven't read her blog, please please do so. She is quite the inspiration and an incredibly addicting read. Enjoy!

By nature, I am a lively bubbly person but I don't really like to draw attention to myself because I am actually quite shy. I just cover it up with my humour.

So imagine my surprise when Holly, my daughter put me forward as an unsung hero in her English class at High School. I was so so chuffed cos well, to be a hero in your daughter's eyes is no small thing but I didn't realize that there were strings attached. I was still basking in the glow of being her 'hero', was grinning from ear to ear so I missed most of the next sentence but then 3 words penetrated my brain.........give a talk! WTF?

Eh? Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Who me??? You are kidding right? That's when I really started paying attention and felt real fear! It turns out that the teacher had been so impressed by Holly's description of me and my life that she asked would I be willing to talk to the class about it. Holly, still seeing me as her hero said "oh I definitely think she would, when do you want her to come in?".

I was driving while she was telling me all this and I was gripping the steering wheel as if my life depended on it! Oh to have her confidence but I was struck with such nerves I could barely speak! I know, I can hear you all laughing now but for days after I had nightmares about being heckled by a class full of teenagers. They were coming to get me! The mere thought brought me out in a cold cold sweat. I wonder if teachers get like this after a while?

What made it worse was that the other parents asked to give a talk were a fire fighter and a nurse. They save lives for a living for god's sake!!! They were definitely going to be much more interesting and be able to captivate a teenage audience far better than little old me whose life consisted of dirty nappies, seizures, drool and at times some impressive 'comedy' sickness.

The day dawned bright and Holly reminded me that today was the day, as she left for school. I did lurch between 'it'll be fine' and running hell bent in the opposite direction at various times throughout that week but every time I looked at Holly and saw how proud she was, I would berate myself for being such a wimp!

I decided that the best way, was to just go without notes. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Yeah well, I'm a hero don't ya know, no props for this girlie.

I walked into the school, informed them at reception that I was here and Holly came down to meet me. I was so wishing that I had a wee smidge of Southern Comfort to help with the nerves but hey that would have to wait.

When I walked into the class, I could feel my face get red. The teacher, Miss Innes, shook my hand and gave me a stool to sit on, in front of the white board. She explained that she would let me speak first but then the class would ask some questions which they had come up with in their groups. As I looked around the class, I started to relax when I realized that I knew at least half of these kids from primary school.

Once I started talking, you could have heard a pin drop as I explained Jack's diagnosis, what it meant, how it presented, how it affected us as a family, how many times we'd done the emergency ambulance dash. Once I got going, I found I had so much to say.

Fifteen minutes later I finished. I looked at Miss Innes and she was crying! I think maybe I explained things too well. I looked over at Holly and she was grinning from ear to ear so I knew that I'd lived up to her expectations. I found myself grinning back. I totally relaxed then.

The question and answer bit was a breeze. The questions were really interesting and funny, there were a couple that stuck out.

One table asked me whether I would ever put Jack into care, as one of the teenager's brother had been put into care. He had cerebral palsy. I told him that "at the moment, it isn't what I want for Jack but that you can never say never because my health could change and I might not be able to look after him then".

The funniest question was "who is easier to look after, Holly or Jack?". "Oh" I said, "that's easy, Jack definitely because he doesn't give me heaps of cheek, talk back and tell me that he hates me like most teenagers do!".

The class all looked at Holly and fell about laughing. Job done :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Art of Bitchdom

I can absolutely depend on my next savior anytime I need a laugh. She is blunt. She has a potty mouth. And she is downright hilarious. Introducing (if you aren't already blessed to know her) Mrs. Hyde from A Bitch Called Mom.

The Art of Bitchdom

This is only my second ever guest post, so I'm not completely familiar with the etiquette of it. Come to think of it, I'm not all that familiar with etiquette period. But Jumble Mash is very busy right now, so I thought it would be exceptionally classy of me to help her out. I am awesomeness dipped in chocolate and served on a bed of diamonds. I know.

Let me warn you that I'm not anything like Jumble Mash. I say that because you guys are used to her sweetness and sunshine and I'm mostly, I'm a bitch. Hence the name of my most popular blog, A Bitch Called Mom. Insert shameless self-promotion here.

Bitchin' ain't easy. You'd think it would be what with celebrities running around making it look like a piece of cake. Like Ellen Degeneres. Helping people and giving away prizes on fake game shows and dancing her skinny ass all over the place...What a bitch, right? It takes finely-honed skill, nay, talent to perfect the art of bitchdom. I should know. I practice my craft every single day.

Just the other day, for example, I was in one of my "classes" (I parenthesize the word because I have no intention of telling you what kind of class it is. I can't have you all up in my business. I don't know you like that.) and the "teacher" was trying to recall a certain song that would go a long way toward helping her make her point. I thought I might know the song, as did several others, but none of us could think of the name. Except this one woman.

I want to interject that this woman is a psycho. Her very existence depends upon her getting married and having kids before she turns 40. She'll be thirty-nine in a couple of weeks. Needless to say, she drives me batshit crazy with her incessant whining about not having a man and not being married and not having kids. She asks everybody for advice and we all try to help her, but all she does is piss and moan some more. Maybe if she'd shut the fuck up for two seconds, she could get a man to do her. There are plenty of ways she could use her mouth to land herself a man and none of them involve whining. Just saying. Also, she doesn't listen and she always has to be right. Always.

Now for my part, I was going nuts trying to think of the name of this song. You know how you're trying to recall some tidbit of information, but it's playing hide and seek in the crumbling crevices of your rum-soaked brain? No? It's just me? Well, anyway, the teacher and I had already established that she and I were thinking of two completely different songs, but it was still driving me crazy trying to remember the name of my song, the one that was sitting on the tip of my tongue taunting me with its elusiveness. 

Psycho Betty, not her real name, decided that the song we were both looking for was "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. I said, "No, that's not the song I'm thinking of. The song I'm thinking of is sung by a dude." 

She says, "No, it's not. It's "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus." Wow! I didn't know that bitch could read minds. Even so, her skills are grossly underdeveloped because I hear a man's voice singing in my head. I think I know the difference between Miley Cyrus' annoying feminine twang and the smooth baritone of a man.

By this time, I had completely given up on the teacher's song. I tried to relay this to Psycho Betty, but she didn't hear me. All she heard was her inner psycho telling her that she was correct. I went into the hall to call home and ask my ten-year-old if she could remember the song that was, at this point, about to cause either a psychotic break on my part or an early death on Psycho Betty's part. That's how much both the song and the bitch were getting on my nerves.

"'Live Like We're Dying' by Kris Allen, my brilliant daughter says.

Yes! I can relax now.

Not quite.

Psycho Betty insists, "Mrs. Hyde, the song you're looking for is "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus."

I lost it. "That's not the fucking song, you neurotic moron! If you say "The Climb" one more time, my foot is going to climb right up your ass." The whole class went silent, even Betty and the teacher. Oops. Let that be a lesson to all you Psycho Bettys out there: just shut the hell up and listen sometimes. 

I didn't mean to go off on Betty. I actually like her and I did apologize to her later. I normally try to restrain my bitchdom in public. But sometimes...every now and then when the psychos threaten your sanity, you just gotta let that Bitch roam free.

Read what I have to say this week at OR if you're in a bitchy mood, check out

Monday, April 18, 2011

Top Ten Fictional Characters I'm Desperately Hoping to Go on a Date With

Since I had so many incredible bloggy friends volunteer to Save Jumble Mash, the guest week is going to keep on going this week. And I was sitting here trying to think of an awesome way to introduce Ms. Nicki to you guys, but I think if you read this post you'll know the exact reason why I love her. Please enjoy...I know I did :)


I'm Nicki. I run the Loaded Handbag. I like potatoes, zombie movies, tequila, and you.

There. I'm glad we've met.

I knew exactly what I wanted to write for the Save Jumble Mash Guest Week.

I adore Jumble Mash because this blog is not afraid to let its geek flag fly.

I, too, wanted to let my geek flag fly.

See, the great thing about being a geek girl is that you don't need to fantasize about real men. Real men suck. They really do. They don't have chiseled animated cheekbones or superpowers. And they can't break out into a spontaneous song when the mood strikes them. And talking sea creatures or kitchenware can't join them in four-part harmony and dazzling dance sequences. So really? Real men? Kind of a let-down.

I've always been totally happy in my dating life because I sympathize with real men. They can't fight henchmen or rescue me from a thirty-foot burning building. They don't come with sound effects or catchy theme songs. They can't even pull off spandex.

So I sympathize. And I settle. So none of my boyfriends have been able to rock the masked-caped-crusader look. So none of them have talking animal sidekicks. It's okay. They're only human.

But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream, right?

And I do dream. Oh, LORD, do I dream.

So here, without further ado, are the Top Ten Fictional Characters I'm Desperately Hoping to Go on a Date With.

Just don't tell my boyfriend.

10.) MacGyver.

Quit your judging. He's old, you say. His dates always end up in mortal peril that involve diabolical schemes or explosions.

Ladies. LADIES. Come to your senses. MacGyver is the single greatest date a girl could have. Especially as a wedding date. Your shoe breaks? He'll combine three hors d'oeuvres to form an organic superglue. Your dress rips? He'll use dental floss to weave a brand new dress, dye it with bar garnishes, and then he'll make spanx out of saran wrap and toothpicks so you look three sizes smaller.

9.) The Ewok Commune from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

No, not like that kind of date. Gross. I just want the entire village to cook me a rustic meal, braid my hair, and then play an integral role in taking down an evil galactic empire. It's like a rustic bed and breakfast/spa run by teddy bears. What's not to love?

8.) Johnny Storm (the Human Torch) from the Fantastic Four.

Again, not THAT kind of date. I'd leave with an intense burning sensation, and I'm not talking about the kind that happens when his body bursts into spontaneous flames while he's giving me a goodnight kiss. I just want to sit together on a flame-resistant faux bear rug and roast marshmallows off of his body. Is that so wrong, internet? IS THAT SO WRONG?

7.) Sean Connery as Professor Jones from Indian Jones and the Last Crusade.

No, this isn't a Bond fetish manifesting many years later.

Okay, maybe it is.

But I really just want to sit down over dinner and have him tell me embarrassing Indiana Jones stories. Like how he used to scream at the sight of earthworms or the time he fell asleep on the toilet.

6.) Stitch from Lilo and Stitch.

I mean, Lilo's totally invited too. I want to build miniature cities and destroy them and then practice our Elvis impressions together. Oh, and I want to gloat to my friends that I went on a date with a six-armed alien. Those Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome stories aren't going to cut it anymore, ladies.

5.) Cyclops from X-Men.

I don't know. I know all X-men girls seem to be Wolverine fans. Every now and then you get the odd Iceman or Nightcrawler fan. Cyclops has ALWAYS been my dream man, even before he was played by James Marsden (HOT HOT HOT) in the X-men movies. I don't know how we'd handle the whole must-wear-sunglasses thing. Superglue his shades to his head or play Corey Hart's "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" nonstop, I imagine.

4.) Jean Grey (Phoenix) from X-men.

I was a fan of Jean Grey ever since she was Marvel Girl. Let's be clear: not only is she incredibly hot, she's also incredibly talented. I don't just want to date her. I want to marry her. Partly because I'm lazy, and it would be awesomely useful to have her pass me the remote or a beer with her mind.

3.) Kaylee from Firefly.

Because a.) she's a-freaking-dorable, b.) she's got the greatest dialect imaginable, and c.) I feel like she could walk around my house and randomly fix everything that's broken.

2.) Robin Hood, Disney version.

He can sing. He can swordfight. He's great with kids. He can shoot a bow and arrow with the best of them and he robs from the rich to give to the poor. Oh yeah, and he's a fox with a pseudo-British accent. WIN.

1.) Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show.

I just want them to sit and heckle our entire date.

It would be an honor. An honor.

Saturday, April 16, 2011


 Mynx is taking over today! If you haven't been to Dribble... you are definitely missing out! Enjoy!

How wonderful to find myself back here at Jumble Mash.

Last time I visited, JM, I had a wonderful collaboration about differences between old and new couples.

Oh and if you don't know me, I am Mynx and I write a couple of blogs, the main one called "Dribble" and I am Australian.

Now I know that JM put up a list of suggestions but she knows me by now and as the only thing that is really on my mind is holidays, I thought I would tie everything together with a little story about when I was a newly wed and my honeymoon in Tasmania.

Tasmania is a beautiful island state, and has a unique history, climate and environment.  We travelled there in September and spent the first few nights in a beautiful place called "Cradle Mountain Lodge"
This is a wilderness area, so we had a beautiful spa cabin set in natural bushland setting.

Now most of you would know something about some Australian animals, koalas, kangaroos, wombats.
Some of you probably consider Australia a really dangerous place with sharks, crocs and poisonous snakes and spiders.

Well let me first say that I have only been eaten by a shark twice and died of snake bite once.... OK I am being silly, but honestly, the animals are more scared of you than you are of them.
Of course if you are silly enough to swim in a croc infested billabong, you deserve to get eaten.

Being a wilderness area, it wasn't uncommon to spot glorious colored parrots or large black Currawongs (Australian Raven) in the trees and on the balcony.

We would walk from our cabin to the main lodge for meals and entertainment nightly along a dirt track, often returning with only moonlight to guide us.

One night, coming back from dinner we heard a rustling in the bushes and hubby was forced to step back before he literally tripped over a wombat going about it's nightly foraging.
It was that sort of place

Several nights a week the lodge would host Possum feeding after dinner.
That sort of thing is frowned upon now, 20 years later, but back then it was entertainment.
The possums are the Australian brush tail possums, very common and very cheeky.
Nocturnal, like a lot of Aussie animals they would be happily sleeping while the sun shine to then get up and party on your cabin roof at night.

As part of possum feeding as entertainment, we would gather on the veranda while the hotel staff passed around trays of cut apple and other fruit so guests could hand feed these very cute fluffy vegetarian locals.

They would gather around your feet and shyly take the apple from your fingers and then munch it down super quick and look for more.
Did I mention they were also greedy?

Eventually the fruit would all be eaten and guest and possums would all go their separate ways to enjoy the rest of the evening.

This night however, one particular possum who had taken a bit of a liking to me decided to wait and see if there was more fruit available.  I was sitting there just watching as he edged closer to me. 

Then all of a sudden, he reached out his little head towards my fingers
The little bugger bit me

Guess he thought I was apple, or maybe my fingers smelt like apple.

And it hurt

And it bled

And I yelled

He ran

And hubby laughed

And that was the first and only time I have ever been attacked by a wild Australian animal

So if you are traveling my way, it isn't the deadly snakes or stinging jellyfish that are the real danger to tourists.

You just gotta watch out for those bloody cute furry critters, especially with apple juice on your hands

Friday, April 15, 2011

Bug Spray? Check.

Today’s post is brought to you by Danger Boy at DangerLeanings. He has provided this wonderful story about his Wifefish that made me swoon, laugh and feel a little sorry for him. But just a little, mostly I laughed :)

My “Save JumbleMash” Contribution.

Hi, I’m Dangerboy.  When Jumble posted “I need guest bloggers.  Badly”, I had two reactions.  The first was to re-read it with the voice from Gauntlet II:  “Red Warrior needs food badly!”  The second was to think “How can I not help?”  Jumble was one of my first followers, after all.  And this blogging thing seems to thrive on community, which means making connections, and pitching in when we can.  So without further preamble, I’d like drop my quarter in, so we don’t hear the ominous “Jumble Mash is about to die”.

I’m going to deviate slightly from the suggestions that Jumble laid out, though I’m branching from the theme of “awful first date.”  I’ve been lucky enough to never really have a memorably bad first date.  It was always the last that stuck out in my mind.  I did, however, have a story on deck from my honeymoon with Wifefish.  I’ll share the moral of the story now:  great, awesome things sometimes have a price.

Wifefish and I honeymooned in Florida, splitting our time between a romantic one-bedroom cottage on the beach of Sanibel Island and being overgrown kids in Orlando.  Despite some distractions , it was a mostly wonderful time.  Note that word, “mostly.”  It’s going to be important here in a bit.

The cottage was wonderful, set at the point where Sanibel and Captiva islands nearly touch.  Imagine the glorious ability to walk out of your back door and be on one of the best beaches for seashells that exists anywhere…Sanibel is legendary for its shelling.  For someone from the Midwest, this was as decadent a time as we needed. 

We saved money by eating in mostly, using the grill in the back “yard” for steaks and such.  We spent most of our time on the beach, though we also explored the island from time to time, and of course we also retreated to the cottage bedroom a bit…you only get one honeymoon, after all.

On our last night at Sanibel, we decided to steal away into the darkness for a romantic rendezvous on the beach.  We grabbed a couple of towels and, grinning like school children about to skip class for the first time, set out into the night. 

The beach, as we had hoped, was deserted.  What followed was a time of giggling, of gasping, and freezing stock still everytime a set of headlights went by on the road.  It was wonderful.  For just a while, we were love.  It was one of those events that lives perpetually in the art gallery of the mind, perfectly framed and preserved under glass.  It was our own take on From Here To Eternity, and we savored it like fine wine. 

Those of you familiar with the night time beaches of Florida will, perhaps, already know our folly.  Wifefish and I lived on in blissful ignorance, though, returning to the cottage to finally rest our heads on soft pillows and drift into the sleep of the sated, cuddling each other fiercely enough to say a thousand “I love you’s” without words.

Morning came.  A last trip to the beach yielded an amazing sight, as the lapping waves of the receding tide had deposited a 2 foot high mound of shells for us to pick through.  I still have most of those shells.  I paid no attention to the occasional itch on each side of my rib cage, thinking nothing of the mild discomfort.  Perhaps I’d had too much sun. 

This is the moment, had I been in a horror film, where the audience would start screaming “You FOOL!” at the screen.  Remember that word “mostly”?  This is the part where it bears impact on the story.

We drove to Orlando, ready to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon.  Something was terribly wrong, though.  The itching had not stopped, it had grown worse.  By the time we’d finished dinner, I felt like eighty five tiny leprechauns had crawled into my shirt with crème broulee torches to make Danger Boy Flambe. 

Returning to the room, I pulled up my shirt to reveal two stripes on either side of my torso, a plethora of red, angry bumps.  We counted eighty-seven.  I chewed on my knuckle to keep from scratching.  

There is, in the south, a creature named the No-See-Um.  It is aptly named.  You have no idea these little bastards are around, until it is far, far too late.  And woe betide you should you take an evening romp without the industrial grade deep woods Off! with extra DEET and uranium-235, for you shall surely pay the price in becoming that most woeful of comic book characters, The Walking Itch.

A frenzied trip to the local drug store ensued immediately.  Calamine was purchased.  Oatmeal bath was purchased.  Benadryl and Ibuprofen rounded out the buying frenzy, and we raced back to the room. 

I slept that night in the bathtub, the oatmeal soothing the itch enough for me to close my eyes at least for a while.  At 2 am, I rose and drained the tub, attempting to return to the bed.  At 2:15, the second oatmeal bath was run, the water as hot as I could stand it.  I did my best not to resent Wifefish’s mere handful of bites.  You only get one honeymoon, after all.

Relief was unobtainable, but I gamely grunted through a day at Sea World, loaded up on pain relievers and antihistamines.  I swear, the dolphins were laughing at me as I struggled to keep my hands in my pockets and off of my battle-scarred sides, where late the No-See-Ums had drunk deeply of my blood, like Dracula on a three-day bender.  The penguins cavorted, taunting me with their freedom of movement; my every step was agony. 

I struggled to keep from becoming Mr. Grumpass.  I don’t know if I succeeded, but the honeymoon wasn’t ruined.  That’s either a testament to my iron will or Wifefish’s capacity for forgiveness, and I’m guessing the tallymark there goes to column B. 

The fortunate end of this story is that between the oatmeal, the calamine lotion, pain reliever and antihistamine, combined with beer and the newlywed euphoria of our honeymoon, I only had one sleepless night.  Day two post-attack was much easier to deal with, and by day three I was only scratching in public once every 10 minutes, almost normal for a human male.  The honeymoon was saved, the marriage still goes strong, and if I ever have Sex On The Beach again, it will likely be made with Vodka and Peach Schnapps. 

Or bug spray.  Lots and lots of bug spray.

Well, that’s my contribution to the Jumble Mash Is Busy Foundation, and I hope you enjoyed it.  Feel free to stop on by at Dangerous Leanings, we try to have as much fun there as y’all do here.  (See Jumble, I used one of your native West Virginia words!)  

Note from Tress: Ya'll go on over and check out Danger Boy :)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Hot Yoga

The absolutely wonderful Ms. Amy from Life’s Journey with a Smile is my guest blogger today. Make sure you stop over at her place at show her some love and enjoy!

Hi Jumble Mashers! I’m Amy from Life’s Journey with a Smile.

(I made that beauty of a header you see up there!). Tress asked for guest posters and she received! This is actually my first guest post and I had no idea what to talk about. I wanted to give you guys a bit of a taste of what I talk about on my own personal blog, while fitting in with Jumble Mashers.

Tress and I were chatting about Hot Yoga (and my obsession with it) and we decided that maybe I should talk about exercise! So here we go... 

I originally started my blog in attempt to remain accountable for my desire to lose weight. It’s been almost a year and while I had life get in the way a bit and haven’t lost a whole lot (about 15 pounds now) thing I have gained a lot of clarity on is exercise.  I used to hate exercise. I was one of those people that would go to the gym to lose weight and just hate it. I hated exercising, running was the devil and I just wanted results right. now. 

Around November I made a commitment to myself to start exercising three times a week and I did it. I just thought I had to go to the gym and maybe eventually I would really enjoy lifting weights and feeling like I was dying. I didn’t miss a week until after Christmas. I did enjoy how exercising made me feel, but I still didn’t love it. I was starting to lose my drive to keep going regularly and then I met hot yoga and fell in love.
A new gym opened up and I tried some of their free hot yoga classes and was instantly hooked. I finally found a form of exercise that I actually enjoyed doing, that challenged me and made me feel good...and that didn’t stop there. I didn’t hate exercising anymore, I loved it! 

Remember how I said I hated running? Well I secretly always wished I was just good at it so I didn’t have to hate it... and then about a month ago I started running...and guess what? I love that too! So now I have two forms of exercise that I absolutely love, and it’s no longer an issue of forcing myself to go to the gym.
Am I telling you to try hot yoga and running to love them too? No not at all. I highly encourage you try them if that spikes your interest...but what I’m saying is to find a type of exercise that you actually like instead of just going to the gym and doing a boring routine. If you like that type of exercise that’s great, but for me, the key to sustaining a healthy lifestyle is actually enjoying it!

Life is too short to do stuff you don’t enjoy.

Note from Tress: While Amy and I were chatting about the guest post, I confessed to her that I knew NOTHING about hot yoga except from what I had read on her blog.  Amy found and sent me these two videos to give me an idea of what it was all about and I thought it would be great if we added them to the post. So here ya go.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

That's a good way to phrase it

Sunshine over at Awesome Title Here (which, to me, is a purty awesome blog title) says she is a lurker here at Jumble Mash which made me sad when I started reading her blog because DAMN! I wish I would have found it earlier. She is one funny lady. Please enjoy her top ten list and then go check her out!

First, I’d like to take a moment to thank Ms. Jumble Mash for allowing me to impose myself on her blog… she says I’m doing her the favor, but I think the opposite is true. I am honored to be on the same page as such an awesome pink turtle. ::swoon:: Okay, seriously. Much thanks to you, JM, and also to the JMers who are reading.

My guest post for Jumble Mash is going to be a top ten list (or, however many I can come up with) on those cliché phrases that we all seem to know and use, but don’t really make sense.

Top Ten Most Stupid Phrases that Still Exist Today

(in no particular order)

*A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

-I’m pretty sure that I can pick up a penny on the street and not have earned it, unless you count bending over to reach it. Wait a minute, not so fast, mister! This leads me into the next one on the list…

*See a penny, pick it up, then all day you'll have good luck

-This is ridiculously untrue. That would be like saying you know you’re going to have a good day when Corey and Topanga get back together on TV in the morning before you leave for work… What, no one else thinks that but me?

*A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

-I do not want a bird in my hand. I am not going to ‘the Bush’ to get a bird. In fact, I am terrified of birds, so even typing out the word ‘bird’ is giving me anxiety. There are so many B-words in this bullet that my anxiety is now through the roof.

*Three sheets to the wind

-Okay, this would make sense if we were talking about sailing, but why, oh why, do people use this phrase when someone is piss drunk? Let’s get a little crazy, shall we? Let’s change this phrase to “Oh man, that guy was so totally ‘rocket ship to the moon and back’. No? Oh, right, because it doesn’t make sense, either.

*Put your money where your mouth is

-I understand the idea behind it, but I do NOT want to put money in my mouth, or anywhere near it, really. That’s disgusting.

*It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game

-On the contrary! It really is about how you play the game: if you play it right, you win; if you play it wrong, you lose. Plain and simple.

*You can’t have your cake and eat it, too

-Yes I can! I feel that ‘having’ and ‘eating’ cake is the same thing, therefore, yes, I can have my cake and eat it, too. Don’t tell me I can’t. I love cake. Preferably some kind of vanilla cake with butter cream or cream-puff cream. Yum.

*Make your bed and then lie in it

-Really, this is just ass-backwards. (Sorry JM, I don’t know how you’ll feel about cursing, so I’ve tried to keep it pretty clean.) When I make my bed, I usually leave the house! I sure as hell don’t get into it once I’ve made it; that would be a supreme case of wasted effort. (I rarely make my bed, regardless; I don’t see the point if I’m going to get back into it later on.) Again, I know the concept behind the phrase, but where’s the effort? Where is the creativity!?

*The apple of my eye

-There should be a list of people who are allowed to use this expression: William Tell, Johnny Appleseed, Buddy Valastro from Carlo’s Bakery, and someone who works for Fruit of the Loom. Anyone else should be banned for using any and all fruit references to describe a person or thing that they enjoy.

I'm sure Jumble Mash has excellent readers, and you guys have idioms/cliches/phrases that bother the hell out of you, too. Share them, if you please, and thanks for letting me be your guest!

Note from Tress: Jumble Mash is not a curse free zone. Feel free to use colorful language :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Will these things all fit in the purselet? If so, that'd be awesome.

The Onion at A lot of Layers presented me with this gem! A list of things that she cannot live without! I love it and it made me laugh. I hope you all enjoy and don’t forget to check her out when you’re done!

1. Chapstick – every day, several times a day. No fancy-shmancy stuff. We are talking the WAXY tube of CHAPSTICK. It goes on like rubber cement. My Dad called it “lip-ice”, which makes me smile. I miss him fondly when I shmear mine on.
2. Onions – Stop bitching. You need them. You MUST HAVE them, or your food will be ruined. Take a Tums.

3. Caffeine – This post brought to you by Starbucks.

4. Fingernail Clippers – Go ahead and think this is stupid. But have a snaggy nail for a day or two, try to “file” it off on your jeans and then you will be on board.

5. Tampons – girls you know of what I speak. These changed the world for women in bathing suit season everywhere.

6. DVR – I could get rid of all extra channels so long as I could tape the few measly ones I had to watch at my leisure. And fast forward through commercials.

7. The purselet – It’s my purse’s baby. It fits on your shoulder and carries credit cards, cash, a lipstick and a gun (just kidding). The purselet - because sometimes a purse is just too much to lug around.

8. High thread count sheets – they are THAT good. Like buttah. You’ll inevitably forget to throw them in the dryer and you’ll stand there and WAIT for them to dry instead of putting on the others. Yes, you will. Soofffttt.

9. The Daily Newspaper – It’s a rag. It’s local hokey, not a USA today. It’s too thin and not always fair and balanced..or accurate. It also has spelling errors. Yet I will walk through FIRE to get to it each and every evening. Don’t touch it before I have read it, or mess up the pages or I will chop your arm off.

10. The Crackberry – Even with my blackberry injury, I am still overusing it. I can’t stop. I need a 12-step program. I’m looking one up right now…on my blackberry.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Here they come to save the day!

My first savior!

When I asked for guest bloggers, ranting was one of the topics I gave as an idea. Amy over at Everyday A did not fail to deliver a rant. A hilarious rant. Please enjoy her guest post and then go check her out. You won’t be disappointed.

An Open Letter to Minivan Owners and Operators

Dear Minivan Owners and Operators,

Why? Why is it always YOU tailgating me in rush hour traffic? Why do you always insist on traveling 5 mph faster than anyone else on the highway? Why do you yammer away on your cell phone simultaneously pushing 80 mph while solar glare is blinding everyone else on the road? Why do you weave in and out of every lane like you are Mario and Donkey Kong is about to shoot a turtle shell at your ass?*

Perhaps you have been lured into a false sense of security by every minivan commercial that touts top of the line safety features. Let me assure you that your reckless driving fully negates ANY safety features your vehicle may or may not have.

I'm not going to lie and lead you to believe that I obey every limit and law as a motorist. Don't think that I won't pass you on the right if you are driving 65 mph in the left lane...because I will. But I always go the speed limit on the Lowell Connector (more out of fear of being pulled over than anything else) and I make a conscious effort to keep my driving habits from pissing anyone off.

Because you are the owner/operator of a minivan I am assuming that you have and/or transport children in your chariot of death. Not only are you risking my life (which I happen to be quite fond of) but you are endangering tiny humans. If nothing else, you are instilling poor driving habits in future generations.

So please, for the sake of everyone (but mostly myself) slow the fuck down...because I promise, if you maim me or my car, this letter will seem like rainbows and sunshine.



*If you are a minivan owner or operator and none of these apply to you then kudos to you and your driving record. Your fenders thank you.

Friday, April 8, 2011


I came into work today to find that there are only three people in the office. I think everyone took the day off and forgot to include us in the memo. So guess who has time to blog today?

I stole this from Steph C. 

A - Age: 25 and I’ve decided I’m not going to have anymore birthdays.

B - Bed size: Full, sadly. As soon as we get a permanent place, we’re upgrading to King.

C - Chore you hate: Laundry. Boyfriend and I cut a deal though. If he does the laundry, I’ll do EVERYTHING else. That’s how much I hate it.

D - Dogs: Bowen, my overweight lab with no testicles.

E - Essential start to your day: Coffee.

F - Favorite Color: Pink.

G - Gold or Silver: Silver for sure. I don’t think I even own anything gold.

H - Height: 5’2’’ aka Fun Sized.

I - Instruments you play: Bass and Guitar, but Bass a little better.

J - Job title: Contract Coordinator

K - Kids: In the future, but not immediate future.

L - Live: West Virginia. See how pretty?

M - My mom's name: Penny or as I like to call her Penelope.

N - Nickname: Tress and Cabookie….oh and pretty much every nickname you can think of for short people.

O - Overnight hospital stay: Once back in like 2005. I’m not going to announce the reason on here though. That’s a whole other post.

P - Pet Peeve: Lying, Stealing, Traffic, and people that interrupt you when you talk.

Q - Quote from a movie: “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” The Notebook.

R- Right/Lefty: Right

S - Siblings: Two sisters and three step brothers.

T - Time you wake up: 7:00 am on weekdays. I try to sleep in on weekends but it usually doesn’t happen.

U - Underwear: I don’t have a preference. I like boy shorts, but they aren’t very flattering in a pair of dress pants, so usually thongs or those one kind I was telling you about.

V - Veggies you dislike: Asparagus. I’ve tried it twice and ew.

W - What makes you run late: Before I go to bed at night, I lay everything out I need, even socks. If I forget one thing, it makes my entire schedule off. Or if I decide to change outfits. Or if Bowen takes longer to pee that usual. I know…I need to give myself some extra time but I like sleeping.

X - Xrays you've had: Teeth, ankle like 5 times, and chest/stomach

Y - Yummy food you make: I make a pretty awesome taco salad and of course my Jumble Pie.

Z - Zoo animal: Penguins. They are so effn cute.

Guest posts are going to start Monday and if you are interested in helping out, please email me a guest post at List of ideas you can use if you want to are here.