Dog wins epic lightsaber battle

My dog loves lightsabers.

Seriously.

Friday, when I got home from work it was already dark outside. When I walked into the house, I immediately smelled something bad. It actually smelled like cat pee. I don’t own a cat.

I have ONE lamp in my living room so it’s always dark in there. Especially when you are looking for something. So I walked around the entire house looking for our flash light to see if maybe Bowen (dog) had had an accident.

No flashlight. I call up Boyfriend and ask where it is. I have him on the phone and he is going through all the places he can think to look and then says, “Check the den.”

I walked in and saw the solution. “Oh this will work.”

BF: What will?

Me: *hits button on lightsaber. Lightsaber makes the whoosh sound*

BF: Really? You are going to use the lightsaber?

Me: Yep. Thanks, I’ll call ya back later.

I knew that thing was going to come in handy at some point. I walk back into the living room to find my dog looking at me like I’m a crazy person. I waved the light saber and it made the sound.

Then my dog went nuts. He kept trying to attack it. And the noise drove him even more insane. So I ran with it. I pretended we were in an epic battle and he was Darth Vadar and his lightsaber was in the shop for repairs. I was winning, too, until he got smart.

He decided biting it would be more helpful than trying to knock it out of my hands with his paws. I figured Boyfriend would be pretty angry if I let Bowen break his lightsaber so I quit playing.

Bowen did not. He kept trying to grab the thing out of my hands and all I was trying to do was look for the source of the smell. I was totally innocent. You see that right?

There I am waving the lightsaber around to make light and he kept jumping up and taking it from me. It turned into a big game of chase. Imagine me chasing him to get the lightsaber back, then me taking it, then him chasing me, him taking it back and then me chasing him. It really was a vicious cycle that could only be stopped by putting the damn thing away.

Then I found a lantern. The lantern worked better anyways. I did not however find any pee. I took out the trash and mopped and cleaned and the smell is gone, but I’m not sure where it was coming from. Boyfriend says we have a cat hiding in our linen closet. I checked. There’s nothing there.