Friday, January 28, 2011

Caller's Revenge

Most of you have read some of my phone conversations at work. Well, yesterday, I believe karma came back around and bit me on the ass.

Me: Blah Blah Coal Company. How may I help you?

Caller: Is this Blah Blah Coal Company?

Me: Why yes, yes it is.

Caller: Well, I’ll have you know that you guys are a bunch of thieves.

Me: Oh yeah? What did we steal?

Caller: You stole my grandfather’s land and his money.

Me: *sighs* We don’t steal land. Or money, sir.

Caller: I know you did. And you buried him. And after you buried him, you stuck drugs up his ass.

Me: Drugs up his ass? We have drugs? Wait, is this a joke?

Caller: No it is not a joke. I also believe that you are hiding gold and diamonds that are rightfully mine.

Me: What is your name sir?

Caller: John Smith. My grandfather was Jim Smith.

Me: Ah, yes, Jim Smith. He sold his land to our company a long time ago.

Caller: He didn’t sell it. You stole it.

Me: Um, I don’t think so.

Caller: You know, I really hope you know that the entire coal industry is going to Hell. The Bible says 'You shall not steal; you shall not deal falsely; you shall not lie to one another.' (totally had to look that up to get it word for word) You guys are a bunch of thieves. Have you made friends with God?

Me: Are you threatening me?

Caller: I wouldn’t waste my time on trash like you.

Me: Ok, then don’t call here anymore.

Caller: Can I have the number to your corporate office?

Me: You may not.

Caller: I’ll find it with or without your help.

Me: Without.

Caller: How much do you get paid?

Me: That’s not really your business.

Caller: I bet you have so much money you don’t know what to do with it. They steal from people like me and give to people like you.

Me: {Laughing}

Caller: It’s not funny.

Me: Seriously. Is this a joke? Are you from the real estate company?

Caller: Can I get directions to your office?

Then I hung up. He was getting a little too weird for me. Seriously guys, I can’t make this stuff up. He called back like three times, but I just let it ring. He didn't leave any messages.


Canadianbloggergirl said...


When I worked as a call center rep back in the day, we used to get real strange ones too.

I found them funny.


Thisisme. said...

You certainly do see life in that office of yours!!! Weirdo or what?!

Oilfield Trash said...

IT is nice to know that there is no shortage of crazy people out there. For a minute I thought we were going to have to import them from China.

S said...

Um yikes!

Danger Boy said...

Now that's a caller even Gonzo would call weird.

Sandra said...

Too bad it was so creepy because it sounded like know, until buddy drives over and pulls out a weapon. You handled it well AND you got hilarious blogging fodder. All in all I'd say it was a good day.

Not the Hero said...

My sister is a receptionist and she has some rediculous callers too. I don't envy your job, no matter how amusing it can be.

Oh, and don't feel bad my sister fucks with her callers too.

AmberLaShell said...

haha, it had to be a joke. When i first started at the company i'm at now, i had a guy who would call and breathe heavy and told me how much he wanted to boink me. It was actually kind of funny.

SkippyMom said...

He sounds delusional - but funny.

You thief JD! heehee

twilightgazing said...

Such an attention seeker!!! oh wait he got the fame he was after... a starring role in the fabtastically JM's blog :)... Good on you for hanging up and not taking anymore of his calls.

The Adorkable Ditz said...

That guy is a little off his rocker... Maybe more than just a little.

caterpillar said...

hehe...that guy needs some serious help!!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Good thing he wasn't related to a Hatfield or a McCoy!!! What a wack job!

LottieSpartacus said...

Why on earth would you stick drugs up a corpse's arse unless you were going to take the corpse across a border or something? It just doesn't make sense!! But then...none of the crazy lunatic's ranting made sense!

I can't believe you stuck with him for that long! I guess it's all good blog fodder though!

Chief aka Dad said...

JM....tell Daddy where the gold and diamonds are buried...I'll take you shopping :-)

Emily said...

Geeze i wish interesting people called me. When ever i get a wrong number its always someone that doesn't speak english

The Empress said...

Yes listen to daddy ...and then please tell me as well!

That guys sounds like a complete and utter nutter. And as creepy as that call got, I must say that your phone conversations at work make for incredibly entertaining blog topics.

Happy Weekend!

becca said...

that was to creepy

On My Soapbox said...

Wow, what a weirdo! He must have brain freeze - from being outside for too long. You were way more patient with him than I would have been. Then again, that's why I don't have a job where I have to speak to the general public. I would lose customers for the company!

sim only plans said...

yes its too annoying... some one calls in work...we get disturbed

Julie said...

oh, creepy and funny rolled into one!
But when you find the gold and diamonds and cash them in - i could do with a little money to fix my kitchen up please!!!

Mynx said...

Reminds me a little of some of the customers I have had in the past. At least on the phone you can hang up. Not so easy when you are face to face

lyndylou said...

so you really don't know where the gold and diamonds are? Really? Really? I insist you invest in a metal detector and get yourself down to that land!!!

What a weirdo!

A Redhead Named Sam said...

You have all the fun. I'm jealous. ;)

Tress said...

Haha thank you for all of the comments! And I promise, if I find out where all the gold and diamonds are, I'll send you all a lovely package.

steph c said...

Creeptastic. 10 bucks says he never shows (here's hoping).

amchornetgirl said...

Wow, I hope he never gets directions to your office!

Nicki said...

Jeff Bridges and Daniel Day Lewis need to make a movie about this.