Thursday, July 22, 2010

My boss wants me dead

Here at the office I work in, we used to have a file clerk. This girl would just go around to everyones offices asking them if they needed things filed, and she actually liked to file. Weird, right? I would rather write a 4 million word report than to file. It's that bad. But anyways, we would keep our documents in these accordion type folders and keep them alphabetized so that all she had to do was file them accordingly.But then, the most horrible thing happened. She got laid off. The company just didn't see the need for the extra cost of our beloved file clerk. But we were told that if the company makes more money, we can get her back.

So yesterday afternoon, I went to my boss and asked about said file clerk.

Me: "So ugh, when is File Clerk coming back?"

Boss: "Oh, she isn't."

(My jaw hits the ground) Me: "What do you mean?"

Boss: "They didn't put her salary in the budget, so we cannot get her back. The position doesn't exist anymore."

Me: "But-but, can we take up a collection and get her back?"

(Boss' face contorts into bewilderment) Boss: "Um, no. You have to be your own file clerk now."

I walk out of the office with my head hung low. My boss didn't seem to understand. I hate to file. It is painful. My hopes and dreams for my filing systems all depended on File Clerk, because after only a month and a half of her being gone, this is what happened.

The got too full. I began piling the documents on my desk.

It was getting harder and harder to see my computer monitor, so I broke down. I grabbed the magic brown folder and went into my filing room. After about two hours and realizing I don't know the alphabet quite as well as I used to, I finally had an empty folder.

I walked triumphantly back to my desk, only to realize, I still had the above pictured stack to file. I sighed dramatically and began putting them into their appropriate letter slots only to find out that I had filled the brown folder up all over again. And this vicious cycle will continue until the day I quit/retire/get fired. I hate filing.

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