Facebook is the # 1 cause of conflicts in relationships

Conversation between my boyfriend and I.

Me: I'm mad at you.

BF: Why?

Me: Because I commented on your photo a week ago and you never replied. Your friend commented on it today and within a minute, you replied.

BF: I'm sorry?

Me: I'm never ever going to write anything on your Facebook ever ever again.

BF: Don't do that, baby.

Me: Oh, it's happening! You never write on mine and you never reply.

BF: {Gives me a sad puppy dog face }

Me: Yes, it is very sad.

BF: Wait, I don't know if we are joking or if you are really mad.

Me: I'm kinda mad. Kinda not. It is just Facebook, but that's beside the point.

BF: What's the point?

Me: The point is that when I write I love you on your wall you should at least have the common courtesy to write I love you too.

BF: Okay, I thought this was about a photo comment?

Me: That too.

BF: Baby, I tell you I love you every day and I talk to you all the time in real life. I thought real life was better.

Me: Real life is better, but I don't want to look like a moron that gets ignored by the very boyfriend she brags about all the time.

BF: Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was a big deal.

Me: {Very defensively} It's not a big deal! It's a small deal.

Pause.

Me: You know what, let's just pretend this never happened.

BF: It's a little too late for that.

Me: Nah, I have a time machine, just let me erase these last ten minutes.

BF: I will write on your wall more often if that is what you would like.

Me: No! Because now you are just going to do it because I told you to and not because you want to. It's not the same.

BF: Then what do you want?

Me: I want you to get your ass in this time machine so we can erase this whole conversation.

BF: {laughs} Okay, but again I'm sorry. I didn't know it was an issue.

Me: It's not an issue. It would just be nice of you.

BF: Fair enough.

Me: Good. Now shut the hell up and stop complaining about stupid shit.

BF: Me?

Me: Yup.

BF: I'm complaining?

Me: Well, I'm certainly too mature to start an argument about Facebook, so it must have been you.

BF: I see.

Me: {mumbles} I'm a pain in the ass. I will try to do better.

This is pretty much word for word. After my pain in the ass line, he gave me a hug and then I went back to the computer to type this. Facebook, along with ferrets and revolving doors, is evil.



UPDATE: I now have a wall post that says "I love love love love love love love you girlfriend." Haha. I win.