Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm elsewhere today, but that's ok, someone is filling in for me.

Today I'm over at Jess' place talking about my favorite TV shows. Ya'll should go over there, because well, I asked nicely? Oh and because Jess rocks. And because you all should watch what I watch. No? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Also, I thought that Jumble Mash needed some male perspective. I mean, I have had guest bloggers, but never of the male variety. And since I've been a sucky blogger the last few days, I've asked Simple Dude to take over for me. And seriously, if you aren't following him, you are going to be eaten alive by dinosaurs. Mean ones. Yeah, you don't want that.

I'll shut up now (honestly, I got my nails done yesterday and I like how they feel on the keyboard).

...over to you Simple Dude.

I'm going to make a quick assumption about the readers here at Jumble Mash in that many of you have either visited my blog, read a post of mine or at least have seen one of my comments left here or on other blogs.  If not, you must live under a rock because I comment all over the place.  I call myself the Simple Dude based on my blog name - Simple Dude in a Complex World.  I can be a real smart ass and somewhat cynical, so keep that in mind as you read this.  And in reality I am probably not as Simple as I'd like folks to believe - in some ways I'm downright Complex. 

I've considered trying a flip-side blog, calling it Complex Dude in a Simple World because, lets face it, the majority of the population is made up of morons.  No, not Mormons.  Mormons are a very small minority who live in Utah.  They refuse to dance but love bicycles.  And Mormons sure do spend a hell of a lot of money on TV commercials lately don't they?  Anyway.. back to the post.  I'm talking about MORONS here.  I lived next to Mr. & Mrs. Moron themselves for about five years and I wrote a couple posts about them.  These two peeps are the perfect example of how the world is full of dumb people.  They would ask me stupid questions all the time and I eventually got really sick of answering them, so for the last year I lived there I would entertain myself by telling them ridiculous things. 

I once had Mr. Moron nearly convinced that there was going to be a full solar eclipse in a couple days and that he would need to buy some sunscreen since the chance of a sunburn was far greater during an eclipse.  Seriously.  And when I decided he wasn't quite buying what I was selling (although he thought about it a lot) I said "Oh, I'm just kidding!" with a laugh as I always would after messing with him.  I think he was convinced I liked him and we were best friends since I messed with his head so much. 

The Moron couple are just two examples of the idiot masses in this world.  There is a local radio host here that says 7 out of 10 people in the world are not worth talking to..  basically because they are stupid.  He says it as a silly bit, trying to be funny.  And it's probably exaggerated but not by very much.  Next time you are at the mall or Target or any place with a large group of people, look around you.  I mean really look closely at your fellow citizens.  You'll see your share of morons.  But also yokels, dipshits, slapdicks, jagoffs, hilljacks, fucktards, dense dolts and brainless bumpkins.  They are everywhere.

Then when you get home turn on the news or read some of the top stories on your favorite website for current events.  The ratio of stories about dumb people outweigh the ones about something smart someone did by at least 4 to 1.

I'm not saying I'm some kind of genius or scholar.  Hell, there are probably spelling or grammatical errors right here in this post.  But I use my common sense a little more then most people and I think I have above average intelligence.  Unfortunately when I look at society, me being above "average" is probably not saying much. 

Not much we can do about any of this, it's just a sad observation.  Do you agree with me?  No?  Then you are probably one of the 7 out of 10.  :) 

SD

19 comments:

Simple Dude said...

It was a blast taking over your blog. It's kind of nice in here... I'll lock up when I leave. And sorry for leaving the toilet seat up.

SD
simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

FreeFlying said...

Ha! I like to think of myself as being in the smart group. But all too frequently I catch myself saying things that plop me firmly into the moron category. I'm working on it....

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

nicely done post. i like to think i'm in the "3 out of 10" group but there are times when my blonde roots are definitely showing (no offense to true blondes - and the wonderfu truly intelligent blondes out here - it's just a joke... kind of like "gender defect" when i'm slamming either something totally stupid i've done or something my husband, son, or other male has done).

i'm somewhat of a smart a** myself (more of a dry, sarcastic sense of humor often directed at myself) so i can truly appreciate another smart a** in life. i don't like cruel and would never hurt anyone's feelings on purpose (i've had to apologize for some blunders, though).

Jewels said...

We clearly aren't one of the 7 out of 10 because we are smart enough to be following both your blogs!

Great guest post. I can't get enough of your moronic neighbors. Special people have a way of finding those of us with little to no tolerance of them. Kind of like how dogs always know the people who don't like dogs and go straight to their crotches to nudge and sniff.

steph c said...

Hah, this is great. I realize all too often how many morons/idiots there are in the world. I have a stepmom who absolutely falls into this category. It seriously kills me pretty much every time I talk to her. She asked me one time how I know when to cross the street... I simply replied "When the light turns green."

True story.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Mr. and Mrs. Moron must have been cloned because I've lived next to a bunch of them over the years. Good post! As for the mormons...they spread out into Idaho because I remember them coming around to knock on a door where I was playing cards and drinking tea with two other ladies and they began with "do you know the devil is in tea"? OMG....slam

caterpillar said...

really...7 out of 10??? :)

Tress said...

Simple Dude, just as long as it doesn't happen again, I won't yell at your for the toilet seat! Thanks again for visiting!

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Thanks for having Simple Dude over. Maybe sometime I could do the same. I promise I always put the seat down after I'm done and wipe the counter of water if I spill!

I mean for a guest blog ;)

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

AmberLaShell said...

I like to think I am above average, but have been told my whole life that I have no comment sense.. so maybe i'm one of the 7...

Oilfield Trash said...

Great guest post.

Jackie said...

Loved the guest post... I could definitely fall into the category of being one of the seven :)

The Empress said...

Great guest post on one of my favorite topics. You know how much I detest stupid jackwagons!

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Mrs. Hyde said...

Nice. There's nothing I hate more than stupid people and I rag on them mercilessly on my blog.

a bitch called mom

Deidra said...

Working with the public is a soul-sucking job a lot of the time, and all because of said stupid people. Sad face.

Thisisme said...

Simple Dude - good guest post, BUT it's never a good idea to leave the toilet seat up!! LOL! Must admit, I've met a lot of Mr & Mrs Morons in my life.

Bubbles said...

I'm insulted as I think I belong to that Moron group... its great to belong in a crowd for once :)

Krissy said...

I think Mr. and Mrs. Moron come to South Carolina to breed and/or abandon their offspring on a regular basis.

Great person to have guest blog! There is never too much of the Simple Dude. :)

http://talkativetaurus.blogspot.com/

Jared said...

If you're still looking for male guest bloggers JM I'd love to stop by some time and drop some stories on you, and your peops!

http://whatwouldjareddo.blogspot.com