Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Oh, Samantha.

I had another interesting phone conversation yesterday that I thought I'd share with you guys.

Operator: Would you like to accept a collect call from Samantha from the State Penitentiary?

As much as I didn't want to, I hung up. I figured taking a collect call from prison might get me into trouble, and I can promise you that I know no one by the name of Samantha. I stared at the phone for minute, really wishing I could have answered it, but then went about my business.

Five minutes later, the call comes in again.

It was fate, obviously, so I said yes.

Samantha: Hello?

Me: Samantha! What did you do now? I have told you time and time again that you cannot prostitute yourself in this state.

Samantha: Who is this? Where is Mom?

Me: What do you mean? I am your mother.

Samantha: No.

Me: Oh my God. You are on drugs, aren't you. I knew it.

Samantha: I think I have the wrong number.

Me: That's not funny.

Samantha: I'm sorry, but I don't know you.

Me: That's a really stupid way to try to get out of trouble, Samantha. I am not bailing you out this time. I'm done.

Samantha: No, there is some sort of mix up.

Me: You really think I'm going to buy that?


That was fun.

Trivia time!!! Kind of an easy music question.

What rock star was trying to bite the head off a bat in concert when the bat decided to bite back?

First to answers correctly chooses who goes on the Giggle Button this week!


Danger Boy said...

Too funny. I always mess with the telemarketers when I get the chance.

I know this one, but I'm going to let someone else take a swing at it. ;)

Amy said...

Ozzy Osbourne!

My brother named our dog after him :)

I can't believe you did that! Too funny!!

becca said...

That would be the ever tlented Ozzie Osbourne a true rock god
and the conversation too funny bet the girl was thinking you totally lost it.

bruce said...


bruce johnson jadip
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book
Dreamodel Guy

Bouncin' Barb said...

Now that was worth the cost of the collect call. Funny!!

Not the Hero said...

I wish I could get random phone calls from people just so I could mess with them. I'm a little Jealous

lyndylou said...

too funny!!! You're wicked!

AmberLaShell said...

that poor girl was probably so confused... haha i guess she shouldn't have put herself in jail then... :)


Thisisme. said...

Bet you've really messed with Samantha's head now. LOL! Wonder what she's in there for. Let's hope she doesn't come looking for you!!

Bubbles said...

Wouldn't you realise that you haven't phoned your mum when a call has to be put through... don't blame you for messing with her.

steph c said...

I know I'm too late but Ozzy Osbourne!

You're too funny. Love it.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL! that was hysterical. poor Samantha.

Ozzy - of course!

ib said...

Samantha if going to get out of the joint and the first thing she is going to do is kick her mom's ass. That is good stuff.

I think that the bat biter in question is Lady GaGa. She indeed.....bites.

amchornetgirl said...

My hubs had a parrot that he named Ozzy Ozbird many years ago. And that phone conversation--priceless!

twilightgazing said...

Wickidly funny :). Sounds like Samantha's real mum doesn't know where she is, I can feel her panic now.

Jewels said...

Never before has somebody made me wish for wrong number phone calls! I am desperate to get one now and see if I can live up to your genius!! hahaha.

SkippyMom said...

You know I think you are funny JM and love ya' - but I guess I am the only one that didn't think this was very nice. She just wanted to talk to her Mom. I can only imagine her sadness that she used her time that was alloted to her on the phone for your amusement [and blog fodder.]

Please don't get me wrong - I am not leaving [and hope I don't get kicked off for this comment] but I don't see the humor.

Have a good one - sorry I couldn't agree.

The Adorkable Ditz said...

You just gave me an idea about my wrong number experience! Oh god...


FreeFlying said...

So bad. But SO funny. Ha!

On My Soapbox said...

I *love* this! Bet she will dial the correct number next time.

hed said...

How I hate your trivia days!



Copyboy said...

Ahhh, the penal system and their screwy operators.

Tress said...

@Danger- How nice of you for letting someone else have a chance!

@Amy- Ding ding ding! You are the winner! Be sure to email me! jumblemash@gmail.com

@Becca-You are correct! You were actually very close to winning it, but Amy was like seven minutes ahead of you.

@Bruce-Thank ya!

@Barb-Haha thank you. I hope work doesn't start asking questions.

@Notthehero-Come and hang out with me for a day and you can answer the phone all you want!

@Lyndy-Thank you, sweetie!

@Amber-I know...she had a bit of an attitude, too.

@Thisisme-OMG I didn't even think of that. Hopefully she doesn't remember this number. Hahah.

@Bubbles-Yea and she called twice!

@Steph-Thank you!!

@Teresa-Thank you!

@ib-OMG you crack me up. Lady GaGa.

@AMC-That's hilarious. Ozbird. Love it.

@Twilight-Yeah I'm thinking Samantha may be new to this jail thing.

@Jewels- I can see you now stalking the phone waiting for a wrong number. You can totally mess with telemarketers too. They are fun.

@Skippy-You don't have to agree with what I'm saying and I give you mad props for actually stating that instead of just not commenting all together. I have no sympathy for people in jail and that may be wrong of me but there is a reason she is there. AND I was going for the approach that she just ruined some strangers life by leading her to believe her daughter was in jail. I mean, she did call the wrong number TWICE.

@AD-Haha can't wait to read about it!

@Freeflying-Hehe...yeah its mean I know. But thanks!

@Soapbox-I would sure hope so! She probably thinks there is some poor mother sitting at home pulling her hair out wondering where her daughter is.

@Hed-Yea the whole time zone things is screwy!

@Copyboy- Haha apparently.

SkippyMom said...

Thanks for agreeing to disagree JM.

Actually she didn't dial the wrong number twice - the doofus operator did. If Samantha was giving her the number she may have imposed a few numbers by accident [dyslexia]. I don't know.

I have never known anyone in prison, but heaven forbid any of my kids ended up there I know they would want to talk to me and the thought of them going to bed, crying because they couldn't reach me made me sad.

People in prison are there for a reason, true. But everyone makes mistakes and it is nice to give people a second chance.

Thanks for listening. You are d'bomb. :)

Krissy said...

I LOVE that! You are a trip, chica. :)

Gwen Styles said...

holy shit, this is the funniest post I've read all day!

Jimmy said...

Never got a call from prison but I do love it when I am in the right mood for telemarketers :)

Tress said...

@Skippy- I understand your point completely. But like you said, we'll just have to agree to disagree this time :)

@Krissy- Thank you, love!

@Gwen- Ha! Thank you! That makes me happy!

@Jimmy- Telemarketers can be the best! Because you know they just expect people to hang up on them. You can really get them going.