Thursday, September 9, 2010

And the pants are off

This is a follow up to yesterday's post.

I was sitting on my couch minding my own business and watching Sons of Anarchy when the most horrible thing happened.

My foot started itching, so I casually scratched it with my other foot. But then, it kept itching. I finally tore my eyes away from SOA and saw that a huge spider was resting comfortably on my foot. If you have read anything about me, you probably already have a pretty good idea that I am terrified of spiders.

At first I froze and just stared at as if it would go away if I did.

Then I panicked. I kicked my foot and it actually jumped up my pant leg. I flipped the fuck out.

 I screamed and pulled my pants off while sitting. Then I threw them across the living room and pulled my legs up underneath me like touching the floor would invoke the spider.

So there I was, in just my panties, watching the pile of pants that were laying across the room, when my roommate walked in. He looked at me, then looked at the pants, and then back at me.

"Spider." I said simply.

Then he sprinted across the living room and joined me on the couch with his legs tucked up. There just aren't enough tough guys left out there.

 We were screwed.

We waited an hour and a half for Boyfriend to get there to check out the situation. I wish I could have taken a picture of his face when he walked in and saw us, but my camera was clear across the room and there was no way I was getting up to get it. Trust me, though, it was priceless. It was a mixture between bewilderment and humor. I didn't think it was funny at the time, but looking back, I can see where laughter would have been appropriate.

Anyways, Boyfriend picked up my pants and shook them out and said that there wasn't a spider, which freaked Roommate and I out even more because we had no idea where the evil creature went.

Of course I kept itching and thinking that the spider was still on me, so I kept making Boyfriend repeatedly check me. Then he informed me that he found it a little disturbing that I was sitting on the couch in my panties with my male roommate. But I told him, "Honey, why would I even like someone that can't kill spiders?" And he was relieved.

Still haven't found the spider, but you can bet your ass I'm not putting those pants back on. Ever.

I need a cat. But not this cat.

Or maybe I'll go with this approach.

Perhaps, though, this might be the best solution.

Wanna freak yourself out? Google "afraid of spiders" and then select the Image tab. {Shivers}


Jess said...

LOL Hilarious. The hubs is just as afraid of spiders as you are. The big sissy (and I do mean BIG sissy - he's 6'3" and 250lbs). I'm not. Thankfully though, he takes care of the roaches for me because I'm TERRIFIED of them.

Admin said...

You aren't afraid of spiders?!? You wanna come live with me? lol.

Molly Malone said...

Bless your heart :) Spiders don't bother me - I'm usually the one rescuing other people from them. Clowns though... *shudder*...

Admin said...

Okay, you can move in, too!! I'll keep the clowns away if you keep the spiders at bay!

I'm a poet. Who knew? :)

Hotcakes said...

hey jumble? :) when are you featuring the guest week?

Admin said...

Hotcakes-I'm trying to start on Monday, so if you can get it in by at least by Thursday that'd be awesome. Friday will be the last guest blog post.

Gina said...

Worst story ever.

Not the writing or the telling- that was all hilarious and awesome.

Just the content (cue the heebie jeebies)

Anonymous said...

Be glad you were wearing panties! :)

Admin said...

LMAO...I didn't even think of that redriverpak. Very glad indeed.

@ Gina-it was horrible, thanks for the sympathy:)