Wednesday, September 1, 2010

How's your bikini?

I went to the mall yesterday to get a pedicure because hey, pedicures make me feel pretty. Usually. But of course, I've had a crappy few days and even my pedicure paradise went wrong.

The nice Vietnamese lady that was doing my toe nails looked up at me and said, "Your eyebrow need done. Want me to do them for you?"

I self consciously rubbed my eyebrows and agreed. I really didn't realize they were that bad but it had been a long time since I've had them done.

So after she finished my toe nails she took me to the back room which I now refer to as the Torture Room. She looked at me and shook her head and actually said, "You fuck up your eyebrow. Don't do it no more!"

I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "They not even. You don't do them yourself. You come to me every time."

So I said, "Are you going to do it for free?" And she said, "No. You get charged, but your eyebrow will be pretty."

Because apparently, my eyebrows are hideous. Really...I had no idea. Then she proceeded to give me the most painful waxing I have ever experienced in my life. I don't even know why it was the most painful but it was! It felt like she was throwing fire at my eyes. But apparently...even that waxing wasn't as painful as this.

Or so I hear.

Anyways...after she was finished she told me how beautiful my new eyebrows were but I couldn't see them in the mirror because my eyes were watering so badly. She was so happy though that she fixed my ugly eyebrows that I almost forgave her. BUT then she asked, "So how is your bikini?"

I jumped up from the chair and ran like hell out of the Torture Room. I paid for my wax and pedi and I was gone!

I walked straight to the car after getting weird looks from all the other mall rats and looked in the my rear view mirror. From about two inches above my eyebrows to my eye lids was fire engine red. My skin was even hot to touch. For a moment, I thought my skin was melting...but luckily it was just my imagination.

It took about two hours for the redness to go away and now my eyebrows LOOK. FLIPPIN'. AWESOME!! Worth the pain? Not in a million years, but they are pretty.

P.S. Who in the Hell decided that women should be hairless anyways? Oh right. A man.


Jess said...

This post cracked me up. You're awesome.

Admin said...

Right back at ya:)

Gina said...

I hate those Asian salons. They always get me! They are doing my feet, and then say something like "you all cracked... you need special dip for foot" so I pay $10 more for a paraffin dip. Then they work on my hands and tell me how jacked up those are and figure out a way to make me pay $12 more for that... It makes me feel worthless. And broke.

Hotcakes said...


funny :)

ive never tried waxing my eyebrow... im scared they might wax it all off...

i always had my brows thread. it HURTS huhu .. but it is worth it.. .for a few weeks

Admin said...

Gina, you are exactly right! Going to the salon is supposed to make you feel pretty. I don't like when they keep telling me everything that is wrong with me.

Hotcakes, you gets yours threaded?!? Wow. You are the woman. It looks so painful!