It's day two. I cannot stop thinking about cigarettes. I cannot concentrate because I want to smoke so badly.
Everyone keeps saying, "You are doing so well, I'm so proud of you." Yet I'm pretty sure I've pulled all of my hair out and I'm snarling. I know they mean well, but they have no idea how close I am to smacking them in the head.
Boyfriend keeys saying, "You can do it. You'll be fine." I tell him I'm going to be suicidal by Sunday. He says I won't. I don't believe him. I snapped at him this morning because he was losing service on his cell phone and he couldn't hear me. I had to repeat myself like 10 ten times and it pissed me off.
My mother keeps calling me and I keep hitting the reject button because it's making me angry that she is calling me while I'm at work.
And because today just keeps getting better (readers of the male variety...skip this next line) I got my monthly visitor.
No one at work is talking to me because my attitude is shitty. I have chewed so much gum that my jaws are hurting. I have three projects due my Tuesday and I haven't started on any of them because I'm mad at them, too, for having deadlines. Yes, I'm getting angry with inanimate objects. Even my stapler has felt my wrath today when I threw it across the room because it was out of staples.
I'm done now. Thanks for listening.
11 comments:
Question, are you quitting cold turkey? Or is the gum your chewing that nicotine replacement stuff? Have you thought about a little help? Like the patch or something? I'm sure you have it all figured out though! :) Just curious!
You are withdrawing from a drug...it's to be expected. that's what I meant by looking at each day after you went through instead of looking forward. Forward is stressful when you're in withdrawal. Stick with it. If after 6 days you're worse then maybe you do need some help with it. I so totally understand sweetie. That's why I've often said it was one the thee most difficult things I've ever done. Hugs
My father was never able to quit, in part because my mother couldn't stand to be around him at this stage of the process. I hope you manage to do this!
Awww. You'll feel better soon. *Hugs*
Here's an award to cheer you up :)
http://justanotheravenue.blogspot.com/2010/10/makes-my-heart-pound.html
Hope your day gets better. Try to find things to distract you. Specifically, go places that are fun where smoking is not permitted (movies, roller skating rinks, etc).
Good luck!
Its a rough road, but I think that you'll be fine...besides you can always use ur bad moods as a reason to tell a person off (as long as they know you're trying to quit smoking).lol
hang in there!
CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com
Once again, thank you guys! Great advice and I feel so loved.
P.S. Novie...you rock.
Roberta, I am trying the nicotine gum, but its really nasty. I haven't resorted to patches yet, but they are next on the list.
I bet it felt so good to throw that stapler. I have days like that and I am not even trying to withdraw from a toxic addictive substance. And what a fabulous excuse for being crazy for a bit, PMS and Quitting. You CAN do this. Big hugs.
hugs
If you are anything like me, your monthly visitor might be making your mood worse! Just remember, you can do it!
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