Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Man Purse

Boyfriend asked me where his flash drive was yesterday. I told him it was in my purse and he huffed and puffed and went digging through the “great black hole.” (His words, not mine.) He finally found it and then demanded that I clean out my purse because he doesn’t “see how I can find a damn thing in that suitcase.” And I said, “Well you obviously found your flash drive, so it can’t be that hard. And I can find everything just fine.” Then he said, “I saw like five things in there that were mine. Please clean it out and give me my stuff back.”

So I pouted a little and finally broke down and started going through my purse. I found some interesting items.

1 bottle of Excedrin Migraine
1 bottle of very good pain pills (left over from surgery)
1 bottle of Vitamin B tabs
1 bottle of Dramamine (for that motion sickness I was telling ya’ll about)
1 empty wallet
1 empty wristlet
1 Pokemon walker (totally his, I don’t even know how it got in there)
1 empty cigarette pack
1 IPhone charger (his, I don’t even have an IPhone )
1 Nook charger
1 Copy of our newly signed lease
3 empty packs of birth control
4 Unpaid bills
4 tubes of chapstick
6 lighters
134,234 (approximately of course) crumbled up receipts

This doesn’t even include the necessities that were in there, like a full pack of cigarettes, check book, occupied wallet, lip gloss, car keys, etc. But since at least two of the things in my purse were his, I told him he was the reason my purse was so junked up and that I absolutely needed every single thing that was in there. He didn’t buy it, but who cares. It’s my purse and I’ll trash it if I want to. Then he went on to say, “I don’t understand why you spend hundreds of dollars on purses just to put a bunch of trash in them.” and I said, “I don’t understand how guys don’t carry purses. I’m getting you a man purse for Christmas.” His eyes got really big and he said, “You.Will.Not.” I so am. But he can’t carry it while I’m with him, because that would just be embarrassing.

DON'T FORGET! I have a very important question to ask you!

In the movie The Big Lebowski, what is the main character's favorite drink?

Whoever answers first will get to choose who goes on the Giggle Button on Thursday. Winner will be congratulated Thursday along with the poll results.

Game on ;)


Jess said...

This was hilarious! I love how you want to buy him a man purse, but will not be with him in public if he's using it! Awesome.

P.S. White Russians. :)

Tress said...

As always, Jess, you rock :) And would you like to whore yourself out for another week on the fabulous Giggle Button? ;)

Bouncin' Barb said...

Wow JM...for a minute there I thought you were digging through my purse...hahaha. Excedrin Migraine, good pain pills are always in mine. It wasn't till the cigarettes that I realized that it wasn't mine.

Have you ever seen the commercial for Progressive Insurance with Flo? The one with the couple with the man purse? lmao.

steph c said...

Heh this is hysterical. And I totally hear you. As does every other woman I know of. What do they make purses/bags for if not to keep all your random stuff in?? And I can't even count how many times I have lugged around the man's stuff in my bag bc he doesn't have one.

becca said...

HaHa a man's purse you so have to buy him one and the answer to your question i think is The White Russian


Canadianbloggergirl said...

Love the man bag idea. My hubby won't even hold my purse for a second, even while I'm holding a whole bunch of stuff.....pft...men!

Peregrin said...

(glancing askew at my laptop bag)

Yeah, I wouldn't carry a man purse either.

Tress said...

@Barb-Yes I have!! I love Flo!

@Steph- I know. He complains about it, but it's always, "Hey put my wallet in your purse." Or "Put my keys in your bag." Come on guys, get your own!

@Becca-Very good with the white russian!! Jess did answer first, though, but definitely try again next week!

@CBG-I don't actually think I've ever asked Boyfriend to hold my purse. Although, while shopping with my dad, its a BAD idea to ask him to hold my purse because he puts it over his shoulder and starts trotting around the store on his tip toes.

@Peregrin- HAHAHA...I'm not letting him see your comment ;)

Mynx said...

My bag is like a pharmacy too. Headache, sinus, chapstick. But it is still the most "beautiful bag in the world"
I have met plenty of guys who ask "can you put this in your bag, wont fit in my pocket" so they may slam us but they use us too.

Aimee said...

Awww damn I knew I shoudl have stopped by here earlier. White Russians were my favorite drink for a wile just because of that movie and I use to play the Lebowski challenge at least once a semester during college lol.

I love this post. SOOOOOO hilarious. I should clean out my purse and list all the random shit i keep in there. Your purse kinda sounds like a medicine cabinet actually. :)

Mommy A. said...

Just found your blog through Jaime. Fricken love it. Had to say so!

Tress said...

@Mynx- It's just so easy to throw stuff in our purses and be done with it. Then in a week, you know someone will say, 'hey do you have any headache medicine?' and we can be like 'sure freakin' do.'

@Aimee- I love me some white russians, too. And the movie. It's awesome. And yes, my purse is much like a medicine cabinet. Maybe because I don't have an actual medicine cabinet at home?

@Mommy A- Welcome!!! So glad you stopped by AND love it here! Stick around!

Meg O. said...

HAHA! I love it! My hubby hates my school bag, too. It really is the black hole. I had a similar experience yesterday with finding things I had forgotten about.

Matty said...

I never go into my wife's great black hole. Oh wait...that doesn't sound right.

I mean, I never go into her pocketbook, in fact, it feels funny or awkward. If I need the keys to her car, she'll say they're in her pocketbook, go get them. I'll bring the pocketbook to her and have her fish them out for me. I've heard other men say the same, that they don't like going into a pocketbook. I guess it's a man thing.

An oh, The Big Lebowski is my wife's favorite movie of all time.

Tress said...

@Meg- that's why they need their own :) I don't feel that they have any right to complain about it.

@Matty- I've heard many guys refusing to go through their woman's purse. But I'm pretty much a "get it your damn self" kinda girl and Boyfriend caught onto that quickly. Hehe.

amchornetgirl said...

Ha ha my hubs used to ask me to carry his cell phone all the time! He finally started shoving it in his pocket (or leaving it in the car). He is always willing to hold my purse, because he's the nicest guy ever, and I always tell him it clashes with his outfit ;)