Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Wings

These are my wings.


To me, they mean I’ve grown and they mean that I’m free.

I got them after it took me three years to realize I was in an unhealthy relationship. After, I realized that most of my relationships were unhealthy. Even the relationships I had with my family. I was angry. I was bitter. I was very unpleasant to be around. Ask Dad. He didn’t even want to be around me.

I didn’t realize it was bad until the end. It honestly didn’t take me long to recover. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I smiled for the first time in a long time. I laughed until I cried and cried until I laughed. I met up with old friends who welcomed me graciously back into their lives. My family wanted to be around me more. I liked myself.

I didn’t worry so much anymore. I didn’t depend on anyone. I was free. I could breathe.

Does looking at my wings remind me of my ex? No. They remind me of how far I’ve come. How much I’ve grown up. They remind me to let the little things slide and not take everything so personally. They remind me to never be dependent. They remind me that I can do it all on my own if I need to. And I did just that for years. I took a lot of time to find myself and I liked what I found.

But most of all, when Boyfriend runs his finger across the lines so carefully inked into my skin, it reminds me that everything happens for a reason. Every door that closed, every bump in the road, made me exactly who I am today. They made me the woman that he loves. They made me the woman that people like to be around.

My wings mean that I am free to be whoever I want to be.

25 comments:

not displayed said...

This is awesome. Nothing more I can say

twilightgazing said...

They are as stunningly beautiful as the young, confident lady that you have grown into.

BB said...

As are the wings on my butterfly and on my fairy with angel wings. Exactly that. I loved this post. You are an amazing young lady and the fact that your Dad repeatedly mentions it verifies what I thought before he was a blogger!!!Hugs.

Southhamsdarling said...

Beautiful wings, and I am so happy that you are in such a good place right now.

Anonymous said...

beautiful tattoo and wonderful story

Oilfield Trash said...

Awesome post.

It is funny how things work out that way.

And I am way too afraid of needles to get a tat, but I do like them

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love them! I am so happy you have found a happy place :)

Keep your head up :D

Canadianbloggergirl said...

So honest! Thank you!

CBG
canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

I have had the amazing good fortune of watching this journey first-hand...and I couldn't possibly be any prouder...love ya babe.

(but I still reserve the right to bitch about your tattoos)

hed said...

Ooh I love this post! Great story and reason to get a tattoo!

hed

On My Soapbox said...

You are a brave one! I couldn't handle that much voluntary pain. Besides, then I would change my mind about what design I wanted. I think I will stick to henna tattoos.

Rebecca said...

beautiful wings and an amazing story behind. you are a wonderful woman

Teresa said...

I don't particularly care for tattoos but this one I'd have to make an exception for {grin}.

What an awesome post and something to be proud of.

SkippyMom said...

Every picture [tat] tells a story. Yours most certainly do.

Amy said...

I love them. If I had put more thought into my first tattoo on my back I would have maybe gotten it placed more strategically because I really want wings. I might get wings still, but layered to look like a heart... maybe beside my Brother tattoo, or somewhere else.. not sure.

I love what they mean. I personally hate when tattoos are just a tattoo... to me it has to mean something to be there forever.

Lyndylou said...

I loved this post. Women are like teabags, we don't know our own strength until we are in hot water :)

Bubbles said...

What an amazing outlook on your life and I'm glad things are continuing to go up hill for you :)

Jumble Mash said...

thank u all so much. This post has been sitting in my draft folder for so long. I wasn't sure I wanted to post it but I'm glad I did

Sandra said...

That's a great idea! In my case, I've been in so many shitty relationships, my body would be covered with wings...no, a big old turkey!
But seriously, it's a beautiful tatoo. How painful was that?

Dr. McCoy said...

That was beautiful. It's always good to have a reminder of your freedom. Good for you!

steph c said...

Beautiful. It's wonderful to have something so meaningful, a permanent reminder.. I'm glad you're free :)

FreeFlying said...

The wings are awesome and the meaning is even better. What a wonderful reminder of how far you've come.

amchornetgirl said...

You rule, JM! That is all.

Danger Boy said...

Spread 'em and fly, girl.

Anonymous said...

Love this post. I'm glad you gave yourself a reminder that we humans can get past practically anything...and even better for you for having done so.

:)