Monday, January 17, 2011

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Happy freakin' Monday. I seriously despise Mondays. And Tuesdays for that matter. I didn't sleep well at all last night. Tossed and turned and had some weird freakin' dreams.

I did have an awesome weekend though. I got to meet my little sister's new boyfriend who is very very nice. Little sis on the other hand is very very mean. He said something like, "I don't want to wait until Thursday to see you." She looked at him and said, "You will freakin' live." And then he would say something really sweet to her, and she'd say, "Oh my God, shut up." I think that was due to embarrassment.

She is a feisty little one.

Dad's birthday dinner went really well. He LOVED the gift I got him, which was a Knight's Templar sword for all of you that wanted to know.
Make sure you sure you guys stop by and wish him Happy Birthday today! And since it is his birthday, I have a story to share with you.

Many moons ago, while visiting Dad in Alabama for the summer, *males may want to cover their eyes* I got my period for the very first time. My mom was all the way back in West Virginia.


So I had no choice but to tell my dad. That was embarrassing enough, but oh, it gets better.

Dad was very cool about it and said, “Okay, no problem, let’s just go to the drug store.”

We got in the car and conversation was scarce, but I did eventually ask him if he wouldn’t mind buying them for me because I was too embarrassed to go through the checkout line.

Cool Dad didn’t even hesitate. He agreed and I started to feel a little better.

So we get to the drug store and walk down the aisle with like 7,000 different kinds of products for situations such as these.

I stared up at the shelves not having a clue what to get. Dad wondered away from me a little as I stood there dumbfounded. I kept peeking over my shoulder and making sure no one was looking at me.

Then, from the other end of the aisle, my very loud Dad yells, “Get these ones with wings. I bet you they’d work better.”

My face instantly turned red. I nodded and he picked them up off the shelf and proceeded to the check out line.

Of course, a young teenage boy was working the register. Dad hands him the um.. sanitary products and says, “So if they have wings, does that mean they can fly?”

The cashier looked directly at me. I know my eyes went as wide as they could go.

Dad continues, “I’m just asking because I know nothing about this kind of stuff.” He was enjoying it way too much. The sly grin on his face told it all.

The cashier, probably just as embarrassed as I was, said, “I’m not sure sir, I don’t know too much about them myself.”

“Is there an instruction manual I could buy?”

That’s when I left. I stormed out of the store and waited beside the car. He came out of the store laughing. I snatched the sanitary products from his hand and got into the car.

“Jeeze, you were so much more pleasant to be around before you entered womanhood.”
 
Happy Birthday, Dad!

23 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I will definitely pop over. And as funny as I know your Dad [and my Dad] would find that - how mean! :)

At least you can laugh about and share it now. Thanks JD.

lyndylou said...

omg!!! I thought this was hilarious! Poor poor you, you musta been traumatised!

Thisisme. said...

Lovely story, but it must have been SO embarrasing for you! Dads!!

Danger Boy said...

Dads live to embarrass their kids. True, true.

amchornetgirl said...

I didn't get any sleep last night either, and I too hate Mondays. When I got my first period, my mom proceeded to call up every family member and tell them about it. So embarrassing!

Emily said...

My dad would have done the same thing... Back then im sure it was embarrassing, but reading it now it is hilarious.Plus a sword for his birthday? awesome

Alessandra said...

OMG, I would have tried to bury myself right in the store. when I got mine, my mom sent in my sister to explain the situation, guess she was too embarrassed, gotta love those 50s moms. Then, they told me to lay down on the couch and not move.....for 5 days!! Ignorance is bliss...
You gotta get back at your dad, he might need Depends one of these days....

becca said...

omg how embrassing but at least now years later you got a great story out of it

Bubbles said...

I hate those days when I hardly sleep but the weird thing is most of the time I wake up like I've had the best sleep in the morning but in the evenings the headaches start.

I would be so embarrased to talk to my dad about it at all. I remember I told my sister who made me go to my mum... even now I go to my sister for any little problem.

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

Personally, I thought I handled the situation pretty well for a guy that grew up with all brothers and then was blessed with three daughters :-) And besides, JM is pretty tough...she can take the heat!

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

And the sword is friggin' awesome and is already proudly hanging on my wall in the family room....love ya JM :-)

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

OMG - I about wet myself!

I used to go tell my dad that my sister needed him to go to the store. LOL - she was so mad at me and I'm sure he knew the difference but (bless him for this) he never let on. He'd go out to "get some ice cream" and come back and give her the sack.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Chief Dad...that was pretty mean and funny as hell. You were blessed with 3 daughters or were you cursed? hahahah

Happy Birthday my friend. Enjoy!

JM...revenge is so sweet. Never to late!

twilightgazing said...

I'm cringing for you at the same time as laughing, this is too funny. You still have to love them!

What an awesome gift too.

On My Soapbox said...

Funny that you posted that story, as my next blog post will be about embarrassing parents! My story isn't anywhere NEAR as funny as yours, though. BTW, if your sister doesn't tone down her growling, she might be single soon. Poor guy.

Chief aka Dad http://unsoundreasoning.blogspot.com said...

@Barb....a blessing for sure...wouldn't trade them for the word :-)

FreeFlying said...

Ha! He sounds awesome. And your sister sounds funny too. I bet you guys have some fun family times. :)

Jewels said...

Wow...that is horrible! I think I would have died. My father stayed far away from that shit. My sister once freaked out at our summer home, unable to swim because she was trying to use tampons and screaming from the bathroom that she "didn't have a hole". My father's only comment was "one less daughter I have to worry about." That was the extent of his involvement in us becoming women.

hed said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

That's something my dad SO would have done. I love his geek sword, too! :)

hed

Jax said...

haha!! You're so lucky your dad was so cool about it. Anytime I mention having my period around my dad he flinches and looks at me like he wants to kill me. Dads can be so mean, but you did get a good story out of it.

Great gift!!

The Adorkable Ditz said...

Oh I remember the first and second time (the only times) where my dad had a serious run in with my period-ness. We were in Havasu for a week and I miscounted the days and I had to go with him to get now only pads, but tampons and Midol because we were in a place where it was swimming central. (Funny in the middle of the freaking desert. That time we were there when it reached 127 degrees F.)

I was so embarrassed even though he didn't say anything.

Then when I started driving my lessons brought us out of town and I was having really bad cramps, again I had to go get another thing of Midol and he waited in the car. I got lost because the store was set up weird and after getting back in the car he said something along the lines of sanitary pads...SO embarrassing.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

steph c said...

Haha! What a good dad though :) Mine took me out to eat when I got my period, because apparently it warrants as a special occasion? So. Awkward.

ib said...

I will have to remember this story. My daughter is only four but my days are numbered.