Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oh Dear

Dear Gushers,
Source
    I'm in love with you.

Dear Fuel Company,
   It is a pretty well known fact that people are going to need fuel to heat their homes in the WINTER. Please stop using the excuse that there is too much snow to get your trucks out to deliver said fuel.

Dear Amazon,
   You are the greatest invention. Ever.

Dear Netflix,
    You are the second greatest.

Dear Genie,
    I would like to revise my three wishes. 1.) I want to be rich 2.) I want to be happy and 3.) I would like my dog to speak and understand English. This would make things so much easier.

Dear Friend,
    I am very happy that you have found a new boyfriend and that he makes you very happy. I do not however need to hear about every sweet thing he ever says. Even if it is his Facebook status.

Dear Boss,
    YOU were told to clean up the office. Not us. Please stop delegating tasks to everyone while you sit on your butt.

Dear State Farm,
    If I should get into a car accident, sing your little jingle and you do NOT show up, I am going to be pissed.

Dear Coal Protesters,
   Stop trying to ruin my life. While saving the environment is a good thing, ruining the livelihood of most of Appalachia is certainly not. Let's compromise?


Dear Puppy Mills,
   You suck. Fucking stop it.

Dear Blogger,
   I have a love hate relationship with you. Can you please just do as I ask and stop formatting my posts in the way you want them? Start your own blog if you'd like. Let me do mine.

Dear Jumble Mashers,
   Are you ready for the trivia question? What's the name of the game played by Harry Potter and his team mates on broomsticks?

As always, first to answer correctly chooses who goes on the Giggle Button this week!

18 comments:

A Redhead Named Sam said...

Succinct post! :)

The game: Quidditch

Amy said...

Love it.

Animals - yes it would totally be better if they talked but I honestly think my cat would be one of those people that never stops talking.

Blogger is REALLY pissing me off lately... and I've been really starting to think about switching to something else.

becca said...

answer: Quidditch

i love this post random letters to everyone how genius of you

steph c said...

QUIDDITCH!!

Gahh I'm always too late. One week, I will win this.

And I wish Geico had a fun jingle that I could sing to beckon them when needed. I think I just have to pray to the gecko god instead?

Oilfield Trash said...

Great post.

I agree with you about the State Farm people. I want my shit fixed and the hot girl from 4E to come with my fixed car.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Great idea you had for a post. Liked it a lot.

PencilGirl said...

Loved it!! :) :)

Thisisme. said...

Quidditch - Oh, blow, two other people have already said that. Oh well, there's always next time.I liked the note to Dear Blogger!! Really good idea for a post. I love Amazon too.

amchornetgirl said...

I really agree with the Amazon and Boss ones!

The Adorkable Ditz said...

I haven't had gushers in a long long time.

Quidditch! I wish that I could play that game for realsies on a real flying broom haha.

http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

Al Penwasser said...

How sad and depressing is it that I know what game Harry and his pals play at Hogwarts (and how sad and depressing it is that I know the name of their school).
Thank God I have never read a single Harry Potter book nor seen a single Harry Potter movie. How do I know, you might ask (or you may not, because you may not really give a flying crap-if crap could fly)?
I have kids.
I also know what garbage is on TeenNick, as well.

The Onion said...

Coal Protestors are a pain in the a$$ for those of us in Wyoming as well. Just behind them are those SUPER "hydraulic fracturing poisons the water/Gasland" nazis. No science needed, we will just run on pure scare tactics! Boo.

On My Soapbox said...

I'm pretty sure I already know what my cat is saying.

Jimmy said...

Blogger? and I thought it was just me Ha Ha

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

great post. i see humor runs in the family.

Mrs. Hyde said...

My cat is such an entitled little bitch. I'm pretty sure I know what's going on in his head.

a bitch called mom

Tress said...

Thank you all for the lovely comments! My boss is still on a cleaning mission so I haven't had time to do much else. Redhead Named Sam won the trivia! Please email me and let me know who you want on the Giggle Button! jumblemash@gmail.com

Nicki said...

GAH THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE JM POSTS EVER

Well, second to the DC birthday adventure saga.