Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Chocolate Syrup and Dog Washes

Yesterday I came home from work with a terrible headache and all I wanted to do was lay down and sleep. But of course, that is always impossible in my world.

I walked through the door and immediately noticed that my dog was not there to greet me. He is always there to greet me. Always. I first became concerned that something was wrong with him. I dropped everything I was holding and sprinted into the living room. That's when I saw it.

There was brown goop all over my couch, on my off-white carpet, on my recliner and even on the glass coffee table. I even saw brown goop paw prints headed down the hallway. I started chanting to myself, Please God, don't let that be poop, as I approached the mess. It wasn't poop at all. It was chocolate.
It seriously looked like Willy Wonka had exploded in my living room. If I hadn't been so dumbfounded, I would have thought to take a picture to show you guys.

I yelled for my dog and he came slowly creeping down the hallway. He knew he was in trouble and he rarely gets in trouble because I'm fairly certain it hurts his feelings when he gets yelled at. Even with his black fur, I could see chocolate smeared all over him.

I just stood there staring for a minute, trying to make sense of it all, when I saw something yellow in the hallway. I walked over and picked up a mangled bottle of Nestle's chocolate syrup. Apparently, he had gotten it off of the kitchen counter, chewed a hole in it and then decided to prance around the apartment with the bottle in his mouth. I never in a million years would have guessed that the bottle could hold so much damn chocolate syrup.

I picked up my cell and immediately called the vet and asked if my dog was going to die. They told me not to worry about it unless he started vomiting. But still, instead of being angry, I just jumped into action. I decided that I would have to bath the dog first or he would just continue smearing the chocolate everywhere. And my dog is big...too big for me to lift into a bathtub, so I have to take him to the Dog Wash. I walked into my bedroom to put some old clothes on because bathing him is always a messy adventure. That's where I discovered chocolate syrup all over my brand new Egyptian Cotton sheets. Now, I was angry.

{Ok as soon as I typed that last line, a book fell off of my desk shelf and hit my can of Sprite. The Sprite then spilled onto my keyboard and my lap. So I had to get a new keyboard and dry my pants. I'm back now though.}

So I took my chocolate loving pooch down to the Dog Wash in a very foul mood. My head was still throbbing and of course, there was chocolate everywhere. I was smart enough to walk to the Dog Wash instead of driving so that my car wouldn't become the next disaster.

I got him all nice and clean and then realized that I hadn't remembered to grab a towel. But I was in luck! They had a vending machine that you could buy towels from. I dug some change out of my purse and pushed a couple of buttons and PRESTO, a towel was in my hands. I unfolded the towel and then held it up, wondering where in the hell the rest of it was.

Seriously, it was like a thick paper towel and was almost as small as my hand.

I was supposed to wash a black Labrador with that!! I got his head pretty dry before the towel became useless. And of course, he kept shaking off because I couldn't get him dry. The entire walk home he shook off like every five seconds. When I walked into the apartment, I was soaking wet and my dog was nice and dry.

Then came the task of cleaning all the chocolate. I'm still working on it.


Jess said...

I would have FREAKED if our dog had gotten chocolate on my Egyptian cotton sheets. Those are one of my most favorite possessions, and NOBODY MESSES WITH THE SHEETS. :)

Admin said...

OMG I know! Like NOBODY understands my love for those sheets. My boyfriend thought I was insane when I bought them, but come on! They are amazing.