Sunday, August 8, 2010

Gender Swap

Um, some adult content. I guess?

Sometimes, I really worry about my boyfriend and me. We have some pretty bizarre conversations and sometimes I think we are too close. Like after I had my surgery, he had to stand in the bathroom with me and run water and sing so that I could pee. Weird, but true.

The following conversation proves my point further. (We were playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii, so this was completely out of the blue.)

Me: What would you do if we were given the opportunity to swap bodies for a day?

Boyfriend: Have sex.

Me: What? I don't think I like that. You would be using my body to have sex with someone.

Boyfriend: But if you had my body, we could just have sex with each other.

Me: Oh. Yeah, good idea. I really want to know what it feels like for a guy.

Boyfriend: You wouldn't be disappointed.

Me: So what else?

Boyfriend: Play with my/your boobs.

Me: No you wouldn't.

Boyfriend: Yes. I would.

Me: Do you see a lot of women walking around playing with their own boobs?

Boyfriend: Well, no.

Me: That's because it's not that exciting.

Boyfriend:  Ok, then what would you do?

Me: Pee standing up.

Boyfriend: What?

Me: Yeah, it would be so cool not to have to pull down your pants every time you had to pee.

Boyfriend: Oh, I didn't think about that. Maybe I don't want to be in your body for a day. What if you are on your period that day?

Me: You would probably die of pain.

Boyfriend: You don't think I could handle it?

Me: Nope.

Boyfriend: Oh, I totally could. And I could probably do it without complaining. Do you want to make a bet?

Me: {Stops and looks at him} You do know that we can't actually go through with this right?

Boyfriend: {Makes a really disappointed face. At himself or at the fact that we cannot actually switch bodies? I'll never know.} But if we could, I could totally handle it.

Me: Of course you could, baby. Of course you could. {totally lying}

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