Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm Brining Home a Baby Bumble Bee

Upon arriving to work this morning, I discovered that I had forgotten my office key. Which sucks. So I had to wait for someone else to get here so that I could get in. Luckily, I only had to wait a short time. A guy that I work with showed up about five minutes later and I was like, "Yay! I forgot my key! Can you let me in?" He started laughing and said, "I forgot mine, too, but I think it may be in my truck." And being the good citizen that I am, I volunteered to walk back to the parking lot with him. He's a gentleman in his mid-thirties and what I would call a "redneck." And yes, it's relevant, because it will play later in the story.

Anyways, as we were walking back towards the office building, I heard a buzzing sound by my ear. I quickly swatted whatever insect it was away and continued our morning conversation. Soon, the buzzing noise returned. By this time I was swatting rapidly at the air and my co-worker was looking at me like I'd lost my mind. Then I said, "I think there is a bee following me," which got my co-worker's attention really fast.

His face turned into a horrified twist of fear and embarrassment as he searched for the bee. Then he was all like, "OMG, it is a hornet. THEY.WILL.KILL.YOU." And I started to laugh, but then he started to run so I thought it was probably a good idea to run.

What happened next surprised me. I turned around and saw that this HUGE bee was indeed chasing us and trying to kill me. Apparently, hornets are pretty known for chasing people. Who knew? But then, as I was starting to pass my co-worker to get inside, he ELBOWED ME! I kid you not. He straight up elbowed me so that I couldn't get ahead of him. I know for a fact that this man goes to Colorado every year to hunt elk, and he regularly hunts wild boar. He hunts WILD BORE and was not only running from a bee, but also making sure I couldn't get ahead of him. I could almost hear his thoughts. "I only have to run faster than her, not the bee."

As he ran inside, he didn't even hold the door for me. So when I grabbed a hold of it, the evil hornet landed right on my hand and stung me. And let me tell you, it freakin' hurt. I swatted it away and stomped on it when it fell to the ground. Almost as soon as I got inside, my hand started swelling. My fingers throbbed and the sting sight burned to no end. The cowardly co-worker stood there panting and staring at me while I fought back tears. I looked at him and said, "Am I really going to die? Will the bee sting kill me?"

Co-worker: What? No.

Me: You said that hornets will kill me.

Co-worker: Not literally.

Me: {Gives best angry face} Just wait until I tell everyone about this.

Then he quickly denied ever elbowing me. But my hand is all swollen (this was difficult to type, by the way) and everyone keeps asking me what happened. Then I tell them about the big strong man that left me to get eaten by the crazed bee.

P.S. I realize that I drew a bumble bee instead of a hornet. That's because I don't know how to draw hornets.

No comments: