Monday, August 16, 2010

Letter to Neighbor

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

       Last week, when you overflowed your sink because you passed out on the toilet, also caused water damage to my apartment. My recliner in particular. However, since I am utterly grateful that the sink didn't come through my ceiling and because the situation was kinda hilarious, I'm gonna let it slide.
      BUT, I want need to know why you always decide to clean your apartment at 1:00 a.m. I know you work day shift, because we leave at the same time every morning and we get home at the same time. So, I really can't understand why it's necessary to clean at 1:00 a.m.

     Usually, I am already in sleepy town by then. I do not like being awoken by a vacuum cleaner, especially yours. Seriously, does that thing have a car engine? It's so loud! Then, for some reason, you always insist on turning on those horrible 80's tunes. And I'm pretty sure I've heard you singing along, and you have a terrible singing voice.

      Since the Kitchen Incident of 2010, I am truly terrified that you are going to leave your sink running now. So I stay awake until you have finished cleaning. Then I tiptoe into the living room to make sure it isn't raining from the ceiling. It's gotta stop.

      I really thought that we were going to be able to be BFF's but you are cutting into my sleeping time. And as previously stated, you are 100% responsible for my bad moods. I called the electric company to see if they would shut your power off from 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m., but they told me no. Lucky for you.

      So in conclusion, I ask that you please stop cleaning your apartment in the wee hours of the morning. If you must continue, I will give you a key and you can clean mine, too.

Downstairs Neighbor


Jess said...

This is funny. Too bad the electric company won't shut off the power. I'd protest outside their door when THEY are trying to sleep.

StaceyNay said...

haha that is hilarious! if he is as crazy as he sounds then he would probably come down to clean ur